Breakdowns to River Sends: A Journey of Unlikely Friendships & Self-Discovery — The AWE Summit Scholarship Foundation

I think it’s necessary to panic about your life here and there to really value it. And yes, I definitely panicked and valued my life on this trip. A quick example: There was a large boulder that sat in the middle of the river in front of our second campsite, which offered relief from the current as an eddy formed behind it. However, it didn’t quite register in my mind the first time I attempted to reach the boulder and completely missed, nervously swimming upstream in retribution. There was a moment when I thought the current had claimed me, and it reminded me that we are simply subjects to the raw power of Pachamama, or Mother Nature. I was having fun and, in that, was momentarily blinded to the possible dangers of the beautiful place we were temporarily calling home. Of course, in retrospect, the guides would’ve probably scooped me up easily, but it was an eye-opener nonetheless. It reinstated an integral respect I had for the outdoors. That said, I kept at it relentlessly afterward, but the experience never left my mind. It was probably my favorite part of the whole trip, feeling (but not really being) close to death and coming out more alive than ever. I managed to climb the boulder a handful of times, first with the help of my friends and later on my own. It was sweet, sweet bliss, solving the problem with grit and support from the others.

One thing I still struggled with was not having a real shower. My neuroticism was poking through, wiping off every grain of sand possible, compulsively thinking about the next time I could be fully ridding my body of dirt, but as a previous Summit Scholarship recipient wrote in their blog, “sometimes allowing yourself to be dirty is, in fact, the kindest thing you can do for your body.” Once I could let go of that irrational pursuit of maintaining cleanliness, I felt free. I felt closer to nature and, thus, myself. I felt at peace. What really did it for me was once I had just finished my second river bath and was calculating every move to put on a clean pair of underwear without soaking or dirtying it, and not a second after poking my second foot through the hole, I lost my balance and fell back into the river. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself, at how silly my strive for being clean and dry out in the wild was. I just started splashing the water around me, breaking down the barriers in my mind that did not serve me. I couldn’t have been more happy at that moment.

I have to give appreciation to our guides, Abby, Drake, Em, and Justin, who were not only knowledgeable and professional within the bounds of their job but also exceeded my expectations in connecting with the entire group. It was easy to connect with them, as they were in their mid-20s, and the majority of the group was, too, but they went above and beyond by allowing themselves to be their goofiest. My favorite interaction with them, albeit more indirect, was the one night they solely communicated in meows to cook dinner. And let me tell you, they committed to the bit, Abby in particular. Of course, it was Abby’s idea in the first place, but man, the determination was like no other. Despite only having meows as a unit of measurement for cooking for the whole group, the dinner came out, “meow, meow, meoooww.” Apologies if you don’t speak the language.

All in all, because I could certainly keep going on and on about this trip, it was like nothing I have ever encountered, and I am still trying to adjust to regular life after such a life-altering experience. I could not properly express my gratitude to The Venture Out Project (Perry and T specifically) and The Summit Scholarship Foundation for allowing me this unforgettable opportunity.