I feel like I’m falling behind my peers

I feel like I’m falling behind my peers

I’m going to be 24 in a few months and I feel like I’m falling behind all my peers. They’re all in decent jobs, going to grad school or doing whatever else.

I live alone and am spending so much money on a month-to-month lease, but I don’t have another option. I’ve been looking for a job since April, and nothing. I got offered a job, but turned it down because it would have required me to move 5+ hours in two weeks to a very HCOL area with not that great of pay for the location. If it was my dream job, then yeah okay done deal. But I couldn’t justify the move if I wasn’t even excited for the job.

I’m in a group chat with girls I was friends with in college and I’m the only one who isn’t married. One other girl in there isn’t married, but she does live in a new state with her longterm partner and she’s attending grad school. I just feel so alone and like we don’t have much in common anymore. I feel like I’m being left behind because I’m still stuck in this college town working a job that looks decent on a resume, but pays horribly (journalism). I’ve working there for going on two years and the plan was to only work for one year because I knew the money wasn’t sustainable. What I DIDNT know is how hard it would be to find a new job.

I’ve been ghosted, led on, and all sorts. I’ve gone to hiring events, attended lunch interviews and had numerous team calls with nothing to show for it.

I obviously don’t want to stay in journalism because the pay is atrocious. I’m embarrassed of my job. I can’t move back home because my family lives six hours away. The only thing I enjoy about my life is my boyfriend, and he lives an hour and thirty from me. I feel like if I don’t find a new job soon and move to where he is, he’s going to end it.

I just feel like I’m falling behind. I was looking at maybe becoming a teacher just for the job security, but I don’t know. This whole process makes me feel worthless and if I think too long about my finances, I have panic attacks. All my peers make way more money than me. I’m nervous for Christmas because I don’t have enough money to buy people presents.

Also as background, I double majored in college and completed three internships so it’s not like I didn’t try. That’s what gets me. Not to sound Gen Z entitled, but I feel like we’re told as long as you go to college you’ll find a job and that is not the case AT ALL.

I also don’t necessarily know what I want to do longterm. It’s hard when you’re not on a track like lawyer or doctor. I really just want to devote my life to writing, but I know I need to pay the bills.