Job searching has been depressing

I graduated back in 2019 with a BA in Actuarial Science. Back then, I didn’t know what I was actually supposed to do in college. I didn’t know I needed to network. I didn’t know how essential it was to do extracurricular activities related to my major. I didn’t know that if I should’ve strictly done internships related to my major rather than just taking anything that would let me earn money (I was scared away from even applying anyways because I needed to pass an exam which I couldn’t study for because I was struggling in college as is).

Since then, I applied for jobs the first year and failed at getting a job because I didn’t meet the qualifications. Then COVID hit and I was able to get a job that wasn’t relevant to my major at all during that time. Then I got laid off and applied for relevant jobs again. Failed again because no qualifications. Then I focused on passing an exam and did it.

Then I applied to jobs for an entire year and this time I didn’t even get an interview or call or email. Just rejections and silence. That is by far the most depressing thing to go through. I’ve never felt more worthless in my entire life. Every application and subsequent rejection felt like another reminder that I was worthless. I learned skills on my own with online courses to add to my resume. I consulted people about how to make my resume look better, including people who worked in HR. I paid to have my resume and cover letter rewritten to make me look even better. Still nothing.

Finally I settled with applying for random jobs in places that could offer an opportunity for growth. Still couldn’t get a single reply until I applied for an employer that was so desperate for workers that they removed pretty much all prerequisites for getting the job. It’s not a bad employer at least, but it’s not relevant to my major. It does luckily have room for growth that could lead to a relevant position.

I applied for that relevant position and at least got an interview, but failed. I just don’t have anything to offer. I make myself seem like a good worker and look presentable during interviews, but I don’t have relevant experience. All of the skills I learned are useless because why would I remember it all when I never use them. Plus I’m now 5, almost 6 years out of college and don’t have anything of worth to offer. And now while working at this same place I’m still applying for more relevant jobs, but it feels pointless. Every time I either get an automated rejection or the questions about relevant experience come up. What am I supposed to do when no one wants to give me experience? I get that I messed up by not making use of college properly but does that just mean now I’m damned for life? I don’t even care about how much these places are willing to pay. I would pay them to let me work there if I could. That’s just how much I want to feel like my time and efforts weren’t a waste. How am I even supposed to get a chance?