There’s a book that’s sweeping through the internet like a fresh cool breeze: The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins.
Mel is famous for finding – and sharing – simple methods for making your life better. Her first book was based on how she managed to start working on the mess she’d made of her own life. She and her husband had a failing business and $800,000 in debt. She’d been laid off, had no prospects, and three young children to support and nurture. Her anxiety and depression were off the charts. Every morning, she writes, “The alarm went off, and there I was, lying in bed, completely overwhelmed by our problems. Like so many of us, I was paralyzed by my own thoughts, and the last thing I wanted to do was get up and face another day. But then, something strange happened. A thought popped into my head that would ultimately change my life. It was so simple, almost silly. I remembered watching a rocket launch and the way NASA counted down to blast off: 5-4-3-2-1. I thought, What if I just counted backward like that and launched myself out of bed?”
It worked. She got up and got on with it. She called it The Five Second Rule; she writes, “If I could push through those five seconds of fear, maybe I could push through anything.”
Eventually, almost by accident, she was invited to one of the first TEDx events, filmed in San Francisco. When she walked on stage and saw 700 people in the audience staring back at her, her mind went blank. So, in a daze, she began describing her Five Second Rule. Her talk became one of the most watched TEDx talks of all time. It turned into a best-selling book that changed her life – and the lives of the millions of people who read it.
Her new book is about another deceptively simple idea. Launched on December 24, 2024, it’s already getting best seller buzz – and for good reason. Mel says that we waste an enormous amount of time, energy and emotions trying to control how others are acting. If we’re not trying to control them, we’re spending a bunch of energy reacting to them, to their bad behavior, unsolicited advice or judgment, or simply their annoying presence in our space.
Two words can fix all that and set you free: Let them. Instead of driving yourself crazy trying to manage or please other people, learn to Let Them do, be, act, in whatever way they’re going to..
She writes, “Here’s why this works: When you stop trying to control things that aren’t yours to control, you stop wasting your energy. You reclaim your time, your peace of mind, and your focus. You realize that your happiness is tied to your actions, not someone else’s behavior, opinions, or mood.”
They’re being grouchy or annoying? Let them. Doing things wrong? Let them. Second guessing your decisions or judging your lifestyle? Let them.
She says, “Learning how to let adults be adults has changed my life. And it will change yours too, because when you finally stop giving your power to other people, you’ll see how much power you truly have.”
In future posts, we’ll discuss how to apply this simple and life-changing idea.
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