The real reason I’m leaving is because I can’t bear to work with you anymore. You are never satisfied with anything I do. It’s reached a point where I don’t even try that much, because I know you will tear apart even my best.
Even when I’m doing something the way we’ve always done it and you’ve approved that process, you will swoop in and find a way to tell me how to do it in better in the name of continuous improvement. But if I make similar suggestions about things, you tell me I’m over thinking. The joke is, I believed you. Now I realise that telling someone they’re overthinking is unhelpful and unspecific feedback that tied me up in knots for years about whether or not to make suggestions for fear of this label you’ve attached to everything I do.
I can tell you start to tune me out when I am trying to explain a work process to you. Sometimes there are barriers. Everything can’t happen super fast. You telling me to get something done in twenty minutes is unrealistic. Some things take time. I need to read the task, format the documents to your very specific requirements that you then get annoyed if I haven’t done them. Because I’m trying to be fast and get you the doc quickly.
You get annoyed when I’m slow and make sure there aren’t mistakes. You get annoyed if I’m fast and make human errors because I’m trying to do things within your unrealistic timelines. You don’t give me all the information and then aren’t happy with the text I’ve drafted. I can’t read your mind.
Sometimes you get after me on things where there isn’t a solution and don’t believe me when I’m telling you that. Till you’ve made me answer a billion questions and you reach the same conclusion as me.
You message me incessantly while I’m doing a task, rather than waiting for me to finish and pass it on to you for feedback. Even after you asked me if there’s a way you can pass on feedback to me in a way that doesn’t make me ‘too emotional and you’re afraid to upset me’ and I explained giving me feedback at the end would be helpful rather than in the middle. It’s very convenient that you suddenly think I don’t take feedback well four years into the role, when I’ve started pushing back.
It hurt me deeply that you couldn’t make time to meet with me when I asked for a meeting to discuss my future at the company. Yet you had a lot of time to continue to tear into work on calls. You strung me along for three months till I finally snapped on a call and demanded we meet.
Yes you explained you had a lot going on, and you do, but so do I. I don’t take it out on you.
This used to be the role that kept me off the ledge, but these days it’s what’s putting me on the ledge. I’ve been constantly ill and stressed for months. And this was all after I went above and beyond to cover for a project that was falling to pieces. I worked so many 12 hour shifts. I worked through holidays to keep things going and you’ve only trusted me less in that time.
I am so hurt. I feel so unappreciated and it’s only when I started getting really positive feedback in my other part time role that I realised how much self doubt you’ve sown into me. I’m not as stupid as you’ve made me feel this whole year.
That’s why I’m leaving. I can’t be your doormat anymore.
submitted by /u/Starrylake
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