Underutilized and Shutting Down

After completing an accelerated graduate program after undergrad, I was left with few options that were a good fit for me as someone with little only a few years of relevant experience but more than enough academic knowledge to supplement that. After applying for over 110 positions, I accepted my first job offer as a program assistant (non-profit field). Fast forward 1 year and half, I’m ready to start looking for another job.

I am so sad to be writing this because I really like most of my team and have been exposed to a great network and different topic areas (working in workforce development), but I am miserable here. I am the type of person that learns by doing and as a young professional, I am generally hungry for knowledge and experience. My expectation was to stay at this job for 2-3 years, get promoted to an associate or take on additional projects to grow my portfolio of skills. My team within this organization has an amazing culture for professional development, growth, and work-life balance. Except for literally the person I work directly under, the program manager.

Because we both started our jobs around the same time, this person is not who I report to for performance improvement or personal logistics like time off. The program manager is the projects lead on our sub-team (of 3) and I am supposed to be supporting administratively. However, there are days when I literally have nothing to do, because my manager involves me in only surface level activities.

My main issue is that I am only being utilized to send emails and schedule meetings on the calendar. This does fit within my job description, but this work is meant to be collaborative given the culture and again they know I am capable of doing more. There are also things that are in my job description that she ends up taking over. She has admitted multiple aspects of her personality that I guess were meant to be funny/relatable but aren’t to me: -She has called herself a recovering perfectionist -She has said as a kid, she’s always wanted things her way -She has told me she loves doing the “coordinating” related to my work

I have asked if there are additional ways for me to help frequently since working with her. I have also explained that I would love to take on more responsibilities to support the team and also asked if there are any ideas for improvement following the completion of our first big project together. I’m always met with “no you’re doing great,” and that she feels supported.

I have generally gotten along with everyone I have worked with. But the subtle patronizing and the lack of development is leaving me feeling resentful. Every day. – She is very prescriptive even for the smallest tasks, like sending an email. Sometimes I feel like her typing her ask takes longer than the actual request. – Doesn’t include me in some meetings for projects. I usually go if I am the one setting up the email but she will have meetings without updating me. – Generally does not show that she trusts my work through her actions even though she claims everything has been good. She typically asks to see email drafts. She was sick a few weeks ago and instead of resting, she still decided to join/facilitate meetings. – In addition to being prescriptive, she will outline assignments for things I already know/plan to do. This is for me just strikes a particular nerve idky. – In meetings, she will answer every question with every possible detail and then say “I have said a lot” and pass it to me to me and I’m left only saying “I think you pretty much covered it.”

I feel like if the manager started before me, I would have been more able to accept the environment that I am working in. But I started about 6 weeks before and felt like I was actually contributing until she got here. Sometimes I do get to do more and contribute ideas but typically in our larger team meetings and on other projects that I support.

To be fair to her, she has told me that she wants to be mindful and protective of my bandwidth, but I did not ask her to do that. I’ve made it clear that I am interested in taking on more work.

Does anyone have any advice to help keep things in perspective? Am I tripping? any advice for professional development outside of work?

I have a few personal developments coming in the next year that is keeping me from seriously looking for a new job right now. But if things do not change, I will definitely be looking and reflecting on how I can best develop my skills.