UPDATE: Hallelujah I got a job offer! How do I ask for more money when I accept?

I posted here this weekend asking for some advice about a job offer I received Friday night.

I explained that I’ve been unemployed for 2 years after a layoff, except for some freelance work. Despite dozens of interviews over the last few years, this is the first job offer I’ve received with an excellent company, and I’m absolutely over the moon. However, the offer was $2K under the bottom of the range I told them I was targeting, and I wanted some insight on how to make it clear I’m thrilled about the opportunity but want to discuss any potential for higher pay, to at least meet the bottom of my range.

The comments I received here were SHOCKING. The overwhelming sentiment, from 100+ comments was “take what you’re offered, shut up, and be grateful, you idiot”. It was suggested over and over that my offer would be rescinded, I was being absolutely ridiculous, greedy, and stupid, that my offer would be revoked just for asking for the weekend to consider it, etc. One person looked at my previous posts and found out I have a chronic disease, and suggested I’m particularly idiotic for even considering negotiating my salary because of my illness. Another person said it’s clearly my own fault I haven’t found a job in 2 years, because I “don’t want one” and that when this offer gets taken off the table I will continue to “play the victim” ??

Admittedly I couldn’t get through all of the toxic and negative comments, so I deleted the post. It made me sick to my stomach. There was one very kind person who DMed me after, and gave me some really solid advice and encouragement. Their messages made me feel a lot better, but overall I was so shaken by the responses I got that I was not going to attempt to negotiate and just accept the original offer first thing Monday morning.

But at the last minute I got a fresh wave of courage, I did some research, I discussed it with the people closest to me.. and I crafted a well planned, polite, enthusiastic message asking for a 5% increase.

I was so, so fucking nervous, but I didn’t have to wait long because they responded within the hour with a counter offer of 3% and I accepted. They actually sounded a little surprised when I accepted their first counter-offer too, so I think I could have kept negotiating, but I had reached the limit of my courage at that point ?

So: a happy ending.

The lesson here is don’t believe all the toxic, negative, scarcity-mindset bullshit that gets spewed in the internet. Being out of work for a long time doesn’t decrease you value in the job market. Just because you’re desperate it doesn’t mean you can’t ask for what you think you deserve.

And if you’ve been job searching for what feels like forever, don’t give up. There were SO many times over the last 2 years that I was convinced this was the end of my career, and I should just throw in the towel. But I really had no choice but to keep trying and I’m actually so genuinely excited about this job and proud of myself for sticking it out and asking for what I want. And you can do it too.

TL;DR: I ignored the advice I got on Reddit and secured a 3% increase on my first job offer in 2 years.