When the World is Too Big: Finding Yourself in Seoul

It’s a Big and Scary World.

Coming from a small town on a small island, and then going to college at a small liberal arts school, my world had never been big and most moments had been filled with the company of others. I was used to finding and catching up with friends at the only grocery store in town, and at my college I could always meet up with and find friends effortlessly due to the small campus and number of students. In short– I was coddled. 

Now that I’m studying abroad at Yonsei University, I’ve transitioned from a school with an enrollment of 1,600 students to one with over 20,000, and a city that holds three times the number of people as my entire home country. While I went into this experience knowing it would be an overwhelming change, I also knew it would force me to step out of my comfort zone.  

FOMO.

Currently mid-way through the semester, I’ve met amazing people from all over the globe who I have the privilege of calling my friends. I get to explore Seoul with them, from popular spots like Lotte World to hitting up k-pop festivals, or doing our work together. However, in a big city and school, both life and people move fast. Schedules don’t line up a lot of the time, and frequently running into people you know can be nearly impossible on such a big campus. So, I’ve found myself exploring places and eating many meals solo. I felt especially bummed by this the first few nights, when I was still finding my “people” and felt intimidated by the city. I laid in bed and scrolled on my phone the first Saturday night, seeing others in the program on Instagram hanging out with each other and exploring Seoul. I felt immense FOMO, and asked myself why I was hiding in an empty room when I could be out there exploring and having fun. Was there something wrong with me? Would I ever make friends? 

Well, no and yes. I understand now that there was nothing wrong with me, and immediately not making friends is a completely normal experience (even if on social media it seems as if everyone except you has made friends and is having the time of their lives). While now I’m sometimes the one who has story posts hanging out with friends and exploring the city, other times I’m still the girl who lays in bed and scrolls on Instagram on a Saturday night. 

And you know what? Both are okay. 

I treasure the moments with my friends, but I also relish in having a yummy meal by myself and taking a moment to enjoy the atmosphere on a bustling evening in Sinchon. In doing so, I’ve had the privilege of getting to know myself better. I’ve discovered new things that I like, such as PC cafes, live street performances, exploring clothing stores different from my style, and many more. There’s something freeing about exploring a new part of the city by yourself, taking it in at your own pace, and letting yourself be guided by the signs, sites, and scents that draw you in. You may find yourself walking towards the angelic voice of an up-and-coming artist performing on the street, and have their songs on repeat for the next week. You could be so distracted by the stores and neon signs that you only realize you’ve been hungry for hours when the clock strikes 9PM, so you desperately stumble into the first restaurant you see and it surprisingly becomes your favorite. 

The Point.

It’s not up to me to tell you what the moral of the story is. But if you’re ever alone in Seoul on a Saturday night, just know that you’re not the first. Being in a new country is the best time to get to know yourself, and what you discover may surprise you (you might even find out you don’t like alone time, and that’s okay too!). You could miss out on wonderful places and experiences if you wait for the day that everyone’s schedules line up, so don’t be afraid to pack your bag and do some solo-exploring.