Will I ever recover from getting fired?

So two weeks ago I got fired from my festival organizer job. I worked for them for 7 years, and it really was the best workplace, great team who became my friends, fine compensation and so many exciting projects, and a lot of fun extra activities, like travelling to conferences and visiting concerts together.

My bosses invited me for a drink on a Sunday to my favorite bar to chat, and they started right away by telling me I’m fired. From then, I just cried and panicked from the shock, and they gave me speeches that sounded like a terrible breakup (let’s stay friends, you are an amazing workforce and will find a job in no time, your mistakes are our mistakes as well, we love you etc.)

I should have expected it. After many years of begging to have a work review, they finally had one with each of the team post-festival. That’s where they told me that they are always impressed with my enthusiasm and professionalism, however i’ve seemed to be depressed and demotivated in the past months, and that they are here to help me. I told them I did have a pretty tough year (lost my mom and my grandma, then got into a spiral off financial crisis), but I’m doing a lot better and I’ll do my best. They also told me that they know I have a lot of work, and that the son of the ceo’s bff will be joining in to work with us in a month and take some of my unnecessary work off my back. Well, a week after that I got scolded for making a pretty big and unprofessional mistake. I admitted my mistake and as ‘detention’, my boss told me I couldn’t go to a conference in London where I was supposed to go with her to develop myself in a work field I was supposed to be promoted to. From then I tried to develop my work energy to 150%, I was at the office all day, doing extra work, trying to be better than ever, but guess what? I made another mistake. That’s the week when they fired me and told me that even though I was the best worker, I used up all my lives.

I’ve been grieving so hard since then. I couldn’t eat or sleep at all for days, my body just rotted, and even though I’ve managed to improve on those a bit, I hate every minute of being awake, I feel sad and empty all of the time.

My boss wrote me a letter a week ago (in response to a letter I wrote her the day after getting fired), where she told me I can’t stay in self-pity and that I need to get out of this hole myself, I should go to therapy, etc. I think she wrote it with good intentions, but it just messed me up more because it made me feel that I didn’t just make mistakes, but that I was a failure generally as a human being. I’m usually very stable despite having some bad times and I was proud of bouncing back from every setback in my life, but it made me question myself.

Of course, I started looking for jobs, and the market terrified me. There are no openings in jobs directly in my field, but I was accepted to a full-time job fron January and a project until the end of the year. Many people say I should stop being sad and be happy and proud that I found jobs early, but I can’t feel that way. These are more one-step-back jobs, the compensation is bad, and they are not the environment I’ve been working so hard to be in. It might be temporary, but what if it isn’t? I feel like my life from now one will forever be three steps back, and that I will just end up somewhere that is fine, but will not help me advance in my career and won’t make me satisfied. I feel like a part of my life is over and the next chapter will just be dull.

Will this ever get better?