7 phrases emotionally immature women tend to use when they don’t get their way, according to psychology

For years, I’ve been fascinated by human behavior—why we act the way we do, how we communicate, and what our words reveal about us. I’ve spent a lot of time exploring emotional intelligence and maturity.

And one thing I’ve learned? Emotionally immature people have a pretty distinct way of speaking, especially when things don’t go their way.

There are certain phrases they tend to use—ones that deflect responsibility, manipulate emotions, or shut down conversations entirely. Once you recognize them, you start seeing them everywhere.

In this article, I’ll go over seven common phrases emotionally immature women tend to use when they’re upset, according to psychology.

Let’s dive in.

1) “You’re just being dramatic”

I’ve heard this phrase more times than I can count, and if you have too, you know how frustrating it can be.

When an emotionally immature woman doesn’t get her way, she might dismiss your feelings by calling you “dramatic.” It’s a way to shut down the conversation and avoid taking responsibility for how her actions affect others.

Instead of listening or trying to understand, she invalidates your emotions—making you feel like the problem isn’t what happened, but rather your reaction to it.

Psychologists call this emotional invalidation, and it can be incredibly damaging over time. When someone constantly tells you that your feelings don’t matter, you may start questioning yourself and suppressing your emotions to avoid conflict.

If you hear this phrase often, take a step back and recognize it for what it is: a defense mechanism. Emotionally mature people handle disagreements by acknowledging feelings and working through them—not by dismissing them outright.

2) “Wow, I guess I’m the worst person in the world”

I remember having a conversation with someone I was dating a few years ago. I brought up something that had been bothering me—nothing major, just a small issue I thought we could work through.

Before I could even finish explaining, she sighed dramatically and said, “Wow, I guess I’m just the worst person in the world, huh?”

Suddenly, the conversation wasn’t about the issue anymore. It was about comforting her, reassuring her that she wasn’t a bad person, and completely abandoning what I had initially wanted to address.

This is a classic example of emotional manipulation. Instead of taking responsibility or engaging in a mature discussion, an emotionally immature person will flip the script and make themselves the victim.

If you come across this phrase often, recognize it for what it is: a way to derail the conversation and avoid accountability. A mature response would be to calmly bring the discussion back to the real issue instead of getting pulled into guilt-tripping tactics.

3) “If you really cared about me, you would…”

I used to have a friend who would say this all the time. If I didn’t immediately agree with her or do what she wanted, she’d hit me with “If you really cared about me, you would…” and then insert whatever demand she had at the moment.

One time, she wanted me to cancel plans I had made weeks in advance just to spend time with her because she was feeling down.

When I told her I couldn’t but that I’d be happy to meet up the next day, she sighed and said, “If you were actually a good friend, you’d be here for me right now.”

At first, I felt guilty—like maybe I really was being a bad friend. But over time, I realized this wasn’t about friendship or caring. It was emotional manipulation.

This phrase twists love and loyalty into an obligation. Instead of respecting your boundaries, an emotionally immature person will use guilt to get their way, making it seem like saying “no” means you don’t care about them.

Real relationships—whether friendships or romantic ones—don’t operate on guilt or ultimatums. A mature person understands that love isn’t about blind compliance; it’s about mutual respect and understanding.

4) “I’m not apologizing unless you admit you were wrong too”

This kind of response is a classic sign of emotional immaturity. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, emotionally immature people often turn apologies into negotiations. It’s not about making things right; it’s about keeping their pride intact.

Research backs this up. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people who struggle with emotional maturity often view apologies as a threat to their self-image, rather than as a tool for repairing relationships.

In other words, for some people, saying “I’m sorry” feels like admitting defeat—so they avoid it or demand something in return.

But here’s the thing: healthy relationships aren’t about keeping score. A mature person understands that apologizing doesn’t mean giving up power—it means valuing the relationship enough to take responsibility when they’ve hurt someone.

5) “You’re overthinking it”

I used to be in a relationship where, any time I brought up a concern, I’d hear the same response: “You’re overthinking it.”

At first, I believed it. I thought maybe I was reading too much into things or making a big deal out of nothing. But over time, I realized what was actually happening—my feelings were being dismissed before they were even considered.

This phrase is often used as a way to shut down conversations and avoid accountability. Instead of addressing the issue, an emotionally immature person will make you feel like the problem isn’t what happened—it’s that you care about what happened.

Of course, sometimes we do overthink things. But there’s a big difference between genuine reassurance and emotional invalidation. A mature person will listen and talk things through with you.

An immature one will brush off your concerns so they don’t have to deal with them.

6) “I’m done talking about this”

I once had a close friend who would shut down every difficult conversation with “I’m done talking about this.”

It didn’t matter if the issue was unresolved or if I still had something important to say—once she was uncomfortable, the conversation was over. No discussion, no compromise, just a wall going up.

At first, I thought maybe she just needed time to process things, but I soon realized this was a pattern. Any time a conversation required self-reflection or accountability, she’d simply refuse to engage. And that left me feeling unheard and frustrated.

Famed psychologist John Gottman refers to this as stonewalling—a defense mechanism where someone shuts down communication instead of working through conflict.

A mature person understands that uncomfortable conversations are necessary for healthy relationships.

Walking away might feel easier in the moment, but real emotional growth comes from listening, engaging, and working through tough discussions—not avoiding them altogether.

7) “I was just joking”

You’d think a joke is just a joke—harmless, right? But sometimes, it’s actually something else entirely.

I’ve been in situations where someone said something hurtful—maybe a dig at my insecurities or a passive-aggressive remark—and when I reacted, they immediately backtracked with “I was just joking.”

Psychologists call this sarcastic aggression, and research has shown that people who frequently use humor to mask criticism or hostility often struggle with emotional regulation. In other words, they use “jokes” as a way to express negativity without having to deal with the consequences.

So what can you do? Instead of brushing it off or laughing along uncomfortably, try responding with: “I don’t find that funny.” This makes it clear that you’re setting a boundary—without getting pulled into an argument or letting them shift blame onto you.

How to respond to emotional immaturity

Recognizing these phrases is the first step—but what do you do when you hear them?

The key is to stay calm and set clear boundaries. Instead of reacting emotionally, try responding with statements like:

• “I’d like to have a real conversation about this.”
• “I’m open to discussing this, but I won’t engage in guilt-tripping.”
• “I understand you’re upset, but that doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t valid too.”

Emotionally immature people often use these phrases to deflect, manipulate, or avoid accountability. By staying grounded and asserting your boundaries, you take away their power to control the conversation.

Most importantly, remember this: you’re not responsible for changing someone who isn’t willing to grow. Focus on surrounding yourself with people who respect your feelings and communicate with honesty and maturity.