7 signs a man is highly attracted to you but trying to play it cool

Is he into you or just being friendly?

It’s not always easy to tell, especially when a guy is trying to keep his cool. Maybe he doesn’t want to come on too strong, or perhaps he’s waiting for the right moment.

But even when he’s trying to play it cool, there are telltale signs that give away his true feelings.

Today, we cover seven of the biggest ones!

1) He’s always around, but keeps a distance

Does he seem to pop up wherever you are? But even though he’s always there, he doesn’t approach you directly or try to engage in deep conversations?

This can be pretty puzzling, I know.

Let me break it down for you. This is a classic sign of a man who is highly attracted to you but is trying to play it cool. He wants to be near you, to be part of your world, but he’s also trying not to make it too obvious.

In my experience, this can be because he’s still figuring out his feelings, or maybe he’s just a bit shy.

Regardless, his consistent presence in your vicinity is a subtle indicator that he’s drawn to you.

2) He listens intently, but doesn’t overshare

So, let’s say you casually mentioned your favorite coffee order or that you’re a fan of a certain band, and he brings it up weeks or months later.

Often, this isn’t just him being nice or having a good memory—this is a sign of attraction. Research suggests that we tend to remember more details about people we find attractive.

So, if he’s recalling those small details, it might just indicate that you’ve caught his eye, even if he hasn’t directly told you yet.

3) He often mirrors your actions

This is a fascinating one that I’ve noticed in my relationships and those of others.

For instance, if you touch your hair, he might do the same a few seconds later. Or, if you’re sitting with your legs crossed, he might also cross his legs.

This act of mirroring is a subconscious way we connect with those we’re attracted to. This doesn’t mean that every mirrored action indicates attraction. But if it’s happening often, it’s likely more than just coincidence.

Pay attention to these subtle cues; they might be revealing more about his feelings than he intends to show.

As they say, actions often speak louder than words – and this couldn’t be truer when it comes to deciphering signs of hidden attraction.

4) He gets a little personal with you

Has he shared a story from his past or opened up about his dreams and fears?

This isn’t just casual conversation—it’s a sign that he feels a connection with you and wants to deepen it.

Brene Brown, an acclaimed author and researcher on vulnerability, beautifully captures the essence of this exchange:

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.”

When a guy starts letting his guard down and revealing his more vulnerable side, it’s a strong indicator that he’s not just interested—he’s invested.

5) He often mirrors your actions

This is a fascinating one that I’ve noticed in my own relationships and those of others. If a man is attracted to you but trying to play it cool, you might find him mirroring your actions or behaviors subconsciously.

For instance, if you touch your hair, he might do the same a few seconds later. Or, if you’re sitting with your legs crossed, he might also cross his legs.

This act of mirroring is a subconscious way we connect with those we’re attracted to.

This doesn’t mean that every mirrored action indicates attraction. But if it’s happening often, it’s likely more than just coincidence.

I’d encourage you to pay attention to these subtle cues; they might be revealing more about his feelings than he intends to show.

After all, as they say, actions often speak louder than words – and this couldn’t be truer when it comes to deciphering signs of hidden attraction.

6) He gets a bit nervous around you

Let’s get real here.

No matter how cool he’s trying to play it, if he’s really attracted to you, he might get a bit nervous around you.

As career prosecutor, international public speaker, and author Wendy L. Patrick has explained, “Nervous reactions signaling interpersonal attraction include positive affect such as smiling and laughing..”

He might fumble with his words a bit, or maybe he seems overly concerned about whether you’re comfortable or having a good time. This nervousness is just his way of showing that he cares about what you think of him.

We’re all human. Even the smoothest guys can get a little anxious when they’re around someone they’re genuinely attracted to.

7) He gazes just a bit longer than normal

Let’s finish with a classic: eye contact.

Perhaps you notice that he makes some more eye contact than normal. You might even see his eyes lingering on you even after the conversation has paused.

This sort of prolonged eye contact isn’t just a coincidence; it’s often linked to attraction.

According to psychology professor Ronald E. Riggio, gazing into someone’s eyes can trigger the release of hormones connected to love and affection.

As he explained in a Psychology Today post, this kind of eye contact can be a strong signal of romantic interest and deeper feelings.

Wrapping it up

Decoding a man’s behavior can be challenging, especially when he’s trying to play it cool.

But by paying attention to these subtle signs, you can gain a better understanding of his feelings towards you.

Of course, every man is different, and these signs aren’t foolproof. But they can certainly provide some insights into his heart.

If you found this article helpful and want to delve deeper into understanding relationship dynamics, you might find my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, useful.

It’s a comprehensive guide to building healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

As always, I hope you found this post helpful. Until next time, stay strong.