7 signs your social skills are well above average, according to psychology

For the longest time, I thought I was socially awkward.

You know the drill:

• Fumbling for words
• Misreading social cues
• Awkward silences
• Not knowing how to handle conflict.

And of course, the dread of looking foolish in social gatherings.

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit, and not too long ago, I was grappling with these issues. My social interactions were more miss than hit, and I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells.

But then, my deep interest in psychology led me to discover 7 telltale signs of having social skills well above average. These signs transformed the way I perceived myself and revolutionized my social life.

In this article, we’ll dive into these 7 signs. Hopefully, they’ll prove as enlightening to you as they have been to me.

Let’s get into it.

1) You’re a master of active listening

Many people think they’re good listeners. But there’s a difference between hearing someone and truly listening to them.

As a psychology enthusiast, I’ve discovered that active listening is a key sign of advanced social skills.

Active listening is more than just nodding along to someone’s words. It involves truly engaging with the speaker, understanding their perspective, and responding thoughtfully.

When I started practicing active listening, it was a game-changer. I found that people were more drawn to me, our conversations were richer, and my relationships became deeper.

Active listening shows empathy and respect for the other person. It makes them feel heard and understood.

If you’re already doing this, it’s a solid indication that your social skills are above average. If not, it’s a simple yet powerful practice to adopt.

Start by focusing fully on the person speaking, instead of thinking about your response. Then, summarise their point in your own words or ask probing questions to show you’re engaged.

Mastering this skill not only boosts your social prowess but also enriches your personal and professional relationships.

2) You understand the power of non-verbal communication

I remember a time when I used to believe that words were the be-all and end-all of communication. However, my exploration into psychology taught me otherwise.

Famed psychologist Albert Mehrabian once said, “Only 7% of communication is verbal, 38% is the tone of voice, and 55% is body language.” This quote resonated deeply with me.

I started paying attention to my body language and noticed how it impacted my interactions. I realized that maintaining eye contact, using open body postures, and mirroring the other person’s gestures made a world of difference in how people responded to me.

There was this one time at a networking event, where I was interacting with a group of people I’d never met before.

Conscious of my body language, I made sure to maintain eye contact and use open body postures. I noticed that people were more receptive to my words, and they even started mirroring my gestures!

Understanding and effectively using non-verbal cues is a clear sign of superior social skills. If you’re already adept at this, you’re certainly well above average. And if you’re not, pay attention to your body language in your next interaction. You might be surprised by how much it communicates!

3) You’re comfortable with silence

There was a time when I thought every silence needed to be filled. I’d rush to fill any gap in conversation, often with pointless chatter, out of fear of awkwardness.

But as I delved deeper into psychology, I learned that comfort with silence is a strong indicator of high-level social skills.

I began to experiment with allowing silences during my conversations. At first, it felt awkward, but over time I noticed something remarkable. Silence allowed for deeper reflection and gave more weight to the words that were eventually spoken.

I recall a conversation with a close friend who was going through a tough time. Instead of rushing in with advice or trying to lighten the mood, I simply sat in silence, offering my unspoken support.

To my surprise, my friend appreciated this silence more than any advice I could’ve given.

If you’re comfortable with silence and can use it effectively in your interactions, your social skills are definitely above average. If not, try embracing the quiet moments in your next conversation. You might find that it leads to deeper connections and more meaningful conversations.

4) You’re skilled at managing conflicts

Conflict management is a skill that not everyone possesses. I used to dread conflicts and would do anything to avoid them. However, I soon realized that avoiding conflict doesn’t solve problems; it merely postpones them.

A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology revealed that effective conflict management leads to improved team performance and satisfaction. Inspired by this, I decided to face conflicts head-on and work towards a resolution rather than avoiding them.

I remember a time when there was a heated argument between two of my team members at Hack Spirit. Instead of sidestepping the issue, I facilitated a conversation between them, ensuring each party had a chance to express their feelings and viewpoints.

Calmly and assertively, we worked through the disagreement and found a mutually agreeable solution.

Being able to navigate conflicts skillfully, listen to all parties involved, and find a solution is a strong indicator of exceptional social skills. If you’re already doing this, you’re ahead of the curve. If not, don’t shy away from conflict. It’s an opportunity for growth and improved relationships.

5) You’re a pro at social cues

Reading social cues is an art that plays a crucial role in effective communication. I used to miss these cues frequently, leading to many awkward situations and misunderstandings.

But as I delved deeper into psychology, I realized the importance of paying attention to these subtle signals. These cues can include anything from facial expressions and body language to tone of voice and conversation pace.

I started practicing this skill in my day-to-day interactions. I remember a dinner party where I was able to pick up on a friend’s discomfort through his subtle body language and quickly changed the topic of conversation to ease his unease.

If you’re good at picking up on these signals and adjusting your behavior accordingly, it’s a sure sign that your social skills are well above average. If not, start paying more attention to these subtle cues in your next interaction; it can greatly enhance your social acumen.

6) You practice empathy

Empathy is one of the most important social skills, but it’s one I admittedly struggled with in the past. I was often so caught up in my own thoughts and feelings that I didn’t truly understand others’ perspectives.

Then I came across a quote from renowned psychologist Carl Rogers: “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”

This quote resonated with me deeply. I started practicing empathy more consciously in my interactions, making a concerted effort to understand others’ feelings and perspectives without judgment.

I recall a time when a colleague was struggling with a project we were working on.

Instead of offering advice or solutions, I simply listened and tried to understand her perspective. She later told me that my understanding response helped her feel less stressed and more capable of tackling the task at hand.

If you’re already practicing empathy in your interpersonal relationships, your social skills are undeniably above average. If not, remember Rogers’ words and try to truly understand others’ perspectives in your next conversation. It can make a world of difference.

7) You know when to say no

Saying yes to everything might seem like the way to be liked and accepted. For a long time, I fell into this trap, often at the cost of my own well-being and priorities.

However, my understanding of psychology taught me something counterintuitive: knowing when to say no is actually a sign of superior social skills.

Saying no when necessary shows respect for your own time and boundaries. It communicates that while you value the other person’s request or invitation, you also value your own needs and commitments.

I remember a time when I was swamped with work and a friend asked me to help them move. Instead of saying yes out of obligation, I explained that I was really busy and couldn’t help. To my surprise, my friend understood and appreciated my honesty.

Next time you’re on the verge of saying yes to something you don’t have the time or energy for, pause.

Consider if saying no might be the better choice. If you can do this respectfully and assertively, it’s a clear sign your social skills are well above average. Plus, it’s a practical way to maintain balance in your life.

Conclusion

Improving your social skills is a journey, not a destination. Remember, it’s not about being perfect but about making small, consistent improvements.

If you’ve recognized these 7 signs in your own behavior, congratulations! Your social skills are well above average. If not, don’t worry. Social skills, like any other skills, can be developed and improved over time.

My advice? Start with one area you want to improve. Whether it’s active listening or comfortably saying no, focus on one skill at a time. Practice it in your daily interactions until it becomes second nature.

Remember, the goal is to build genuine connections and enrich your interactions with others. And with patience and practice, I’m confident you’ll become a master of social skills.