8 types of people holding you back from achieving your best self (according to psych experts)

If you’re anything like me, you’ve likely got a goal or two in mind that you’re working towards. But sometimes, it’s not just your own mindset that can hold you back, but the people around you as well.

According to psychology experts, there are certain types of people who may be inhibiting your journey to your best self.

Identifying these individuals isn’t about placing blame. Rather, it’s about understanding how their behavior can impact your progress and taking steps to manage these relationships effectively.

In this article, we’ll be delving into the 8 types of people who could be holding you back from reaching your potential.

1) The naysayer

We’ve all encountered that one person who seems to always focus on the negative.

They’re quick to point out why something won’t work, and rarely offer an encouraging word. That, my friends, is the classic naysayer.

Famed psychologist Dr. Albert Bandura once said, “In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.”

Naysayers can chip away at that sense of self-efficacy. Their constant negativity can make us doubt our abilities and question our decisions.

It’s a draining experience that can hold us back from reaching our full potential.

2) The constant competitor

Remember that friend from high school who always had to one-up you? The one who, when you shared that you got a B on your test, would casually mention their A? That’s the constant competitor.

The constant competitor seems to view life as a zero-sum game, where their success can only come at the expense of others. It’s exhausting to be around this type of person because it feels like you’re constantly in a race you never signed up for.

Just because someone is constantly comparing themselves to others, it doesn’t mean they are superior or that I am inferior.

In my case, realizing that my friend’s competitiveness was more about them than about me was a game-changer.

I learned to separate their need to compete from my own self-worth and focus on my personal growth journey. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

3) The emotional vampire

Emotional vampires, as they’re often called, are people who suck the energy right out of you. They feed on your emotional bandwidth, leaving you feeling drained and depleted.

These individuals often have a crisis they need to talk about, a drama they’re in the middle of, or a problem they want to dissect in minute detail.

While it’s important to be there for friends in need, when it becomes a constant cycle, it can start to wear on your own mental wellbeing.

Let’s be brutally honest: maintaining a relationship with an emotional vampire can hold us back from achieving our best selves.

Recognizing this isn’t about blaming them for their needs, but about acknowledging that we also have a right to protect our own emotional health.

4) The guilt-tripper

Ever have someone make you feel guilty for pursuing your goals or for setting boundaries? That’s the guilt-tripper.

They have a way of making you feel selfish or uncaring for prioritizing your own needs or aspirations. It’s a manipulative tactic that can often leave you second-guessing your choices.

I remember a time when I decided to dedicate my weekends to working on a personal project. A friend of mine made me feel guilty for not spending that time with them, implying that I was being a bad friend.

Guilt can be incredibly influential, often steering us away from paths we’d like to pursue.

After all, prioritizing our own growth isn’t something we should feel guilty about.

5) The pessimist

We all know that person who always sees the glass as half-empty. No matter what the situation, they can find the negative. This is the pessimist.

Pessimists can drain our energy and dampen our spirits with their constant focus on what could go wrong, rather than what could go right. Their outlook can start to rub off on us if we’re not careful.

Famous psychologist Martin Seligman, known for his work on learned helplessness and optimism, once said, “Optimism is invaluable for the meaningful life. With a firm belief in a positive future, you can throw yourself into the service of that which is larger than you are.”

6) The controller

Then there’s the controller, that person who always seems to want to dictate your choices, your actions, and even your thoughts.

They believe they know what’s best for you, often disregarding your own opinions or desires.

In my own life, I’ve seen how this type of person can stifle my growth by making me second-guess my own instincts and surrender my autonomy.

Change and learning are personal journeys. The controller’s attempts to steer our path doesn’t help us grow; it can actually hinder our personal development.

Identifying the controller in our lives allows us to reclaim our independence and make choices aligned with our personal growth and aspirations.

7) The constant critic

The constant critic is the one who always finds something wrong.

They nitpick, point out flaws, and rarely miss an opportunity to criticize. Their constant stream of criticism can make us doubt our abilities and lose confidence in our actions.

Constructive criticism can be beneficial, but when it’s incessant and harsh, it can do more harm than good.

Let’s be real: dealing with a constant critic is tough. But criticisms may often reflect more about the critic than about us.

As PsychCentral explains, these individuals might be projecting their own insecurities or unresolved issues, using negative comments as a way to deflect attention from themselves.

Understanding this can help us depersonalize their remarks, making it easier to maintain our self-confidence and respond calmly rather than react emotionally.

8) The overly supportive friend

This one might take you by surprise. An overly supportive friend, really? But here’s the catch – while it’s essential to have supportive friends in our corner, an overly supportive friend can sometimes prevent us from experiencing necessary challenges and growth.

This type of friend is always there to save the day, fix things for you, or shield you from hardships. While their intentions may be good, this can actually hinder your ability to develop resilience and problem-solving skills.

Just remember, it’s through overcoming obstacles that we often discover our strengths and realize our true potential. So while it’s great to have supportive friends, it’s equally important to face some battles on our own.

9) The perfectionist

Whether it’s a boss, a friend, or a family member, we’ve all encountered that person who expects nothing less than perfection. As someone who has been on the receiving end of this, I can tell you it’s exhausting.

This type of person sets unrealistic standards and often fails to recognize effort and progress. They focus more on the end result rather than the journey or the learning process.

According to a review available through the National Library of Medicine, perfectionism often stems from a fear of failure or a desire for approval and is linked to increased stress, anxiety, and depression. Understanding these psychological roots can help us empathize with perfectionists while protecting our own well-being.

Identifying the perfectionist in our lives can help us maintain a growth mindset and acknowledge our efforts and progress, which are crucial elements in becoming our best self.