9 signs someone close to you is quietly rooting for you to fail

It’s a tough pill to swallow — the idea that someone close to you might secretly be rooting for your downfall.

We all like to believe that our friends and family are our biggest cheerleaders, but the harsh reality is, this isn’t always the case.

Sometimes, the people we hold dear may not want us to succeed as much as we’d like to think.

But how do you identify this subtle yet damaging undercurrent?

Well, there are certain signs that can reveal these covert intentions and in this article, I’m going to share 9 of them with you.

Keep reading if you’re ready to face the potentially uncomfortable truth — it might just be the wake-up call you need.

1) They downplay your achievements

In the world of covert envy, your victories aren’t treated with the excitement they deserve.

It’s a subtle sign, yet a telling one.

Those who secretly harbor hopes for your failure tend to downplay or dismiss your achievements. They might pass off your hard-earned success as mere luck or trivialize it as something anyone could have achieved.

This lack of genuine enthusiasm doesn’t necessarily indicate malicious intent. It could be a manifestation of their own insecurities or jealousy.

However, it’s important to note that such behavior can be damaging to your self-esteem and overall morale.

This might not be an easy realization, but acknowledging it is the first step to dealing with such situations.

2) They’re quick to highlight your mistakes

Ever heard of Schadenfreude? It’s a German word that psychology uses to describe the pleasure people sometimes feel at another person’s misfortune.

Complicated word, a simple yet unsettling concept.

Now, we’re not saying that everyone who points out your mistakes is secretly relishing in your failures. Constructive criticism is, after all, a valuable tool for growth.

But there’s a clear line between offering helpful advice and gleefully pointing out every error, no matter how minor.

If someone close to you seems to be on the lookout for your slip-ups and is quick to highlight them, often in front of others, it may indicate that they’re not entirely on your side.

This kind of behavior may be masked as concern or ‘tough love’, but it can create an environment where you’re always second-guessing yourself.

And that’s not healthy or productive.

3) They rarely offer genuine support when you’re struggling

On the flip side of the previous point, someone wishing for your downfall might not be there for you when you’re grappling with challenges or setbacks.

Seems counter-intuitive, right?

You’d think that if they enjoy your failures, they’d be around to witness them. But here’s the catch: they don’t want to be associated with your struggles or be put in a position where they’re expected to offer support.

So, they might be conspicuously absent during your tough times, or if they are present, their support might feel insincere or forced.

Remember, true friends and allies offer a helping hand or words of encouragement when you stumble. They don’t leave you to pick up the pieces alone.

4) They often compare your journey to others

Ever noticed how some people have a knack for drawing comparisons?

It’s as if they’ve made it their mission to constantly contrast your life journey with that of others. They might point out how someone else achieved something faster, or how another person’s path seemed smoother.

This isn’t about motivating you or providing perspective. It’s more about undermining your confidence and making you question your abilities.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and filled with its own twists and turns. Comparisons not only rob you of your individuality, but they can also create unnecessary pressure and self-doubt.

5) They exhibit signs of covert envy

Envy is a complex emotion, often lurking beneath the surface and manifesting in subtle ways. Someone who’s quietly hoping for your downfall might be battling feelings of envy, even if they’re not consciously aware of it.

Here are some signs of covert envy:

• They struggle to genuinely compliment you
• They tend to change the subject when you talk about your achievements
• They exhibit passive-aggressive behavior
• They might gossip or spread rumors about you

These behaviors can be hard to spot, especially when you want to believe the best of people close to you. However, acknowledging these signs can help you navigate such tricky relationships more effectively.

6) They’re not genuinely happy for your success

We’ve all experienced it. A significant accomplishment, a major milestone reached, and in that moment of joy, we look around to share it with our loved ones.

But if someone close to you doesn’t seem genuinely happy about your achievements, it can feel like a punch in the gut.

Let’s be clear. This isn’t about them throwing you a party every time you succeed. It’s more about them sharing in your joy, acknowledging your hard work, and simply being there to celebrate with you.

I’ve found that genuine happiness for another’s success is a clear sign of goodwill. It indicates that they want the best for you and that they’re on your team.

7) They discourage you more than they encourage you

Imagine you’ve got a big idea, something that you’re excited about and eager to put into action. You share it with someone close, expecting support or at the very least, constructive feedback.

But instead, they seem to take pleasure in poking holes in your plans, discouraging you, highlighting all the reasons why it might not work.

Sure, a dose of realism can be healthy. But if their response is consistently negative if they rarely have anything positive or encouraging to say about your plans and dreams, one has to wonder: are they looking out for your best interests or subtly rooting for your failure?

Are they trying to shield you from potential disappointment or do they simply not believe in your ability to succeed?

These are tough questions but reflecting on them can shed light on the dynamics of your relationship.

8) They rarely ask about your progress or goals

There’s a simple yet powerful way to gauge if someone is genuinely interested in your success: do they ask about your progress or your goals?

When I started my own business a few years ago, I had a friend who never asked about it. Not once did he inquire about how things were going, what challenges I was facing, or what my future plans were. He’d talk about his own projects and his own life, but my endeavors didn’t seem to interest him.

It took me a while to realize that this lack of interest indicated a deeper issue. It wasn’t just that he didn’t care about my business; he didn’t care about my success.

9) They seem to feel better about themselves when you’re down

This is the final, and perhaps most painful, sign to look out for: does the person in question seem to feel better about themselves when you’re not doing so well?

It’s a harsh realization, but some people derive a sense of self-worth from comparing themselves favorably to others. So when you’re struggling or facing setbacks, they might seem more cheerful, and more confident.

It’s important to remember that this says more about their own insecurities than it does about you. But it’s equally vital to surround yourself with people who uplift you, not those who silently relish your downfalls.

So, what now?

Identifying these signs can be disheartening, even unsettling. But it’s important to remember that knowledge is power.

So, what can you do with this information?

• Reflect on your relationships: Are they uplifting or draining?
• Establish boundaries: It’s okay to distance yourself from people who aren’t truly rooting for your success.
• Seek support elsewhere: Surround yourself with positive, supportive individuals who genuinely want the best for you.
• Consider talking about it: If you’re comfortable doing so, discuss your feelings with the person involved. It might lead to a better understanding or necessary closure.

Navigating relationships can be complex. But at the end of the day, it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who celebrate your victories, support you through your struggles, and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

Take a moment, reflect on your relationships, and take the steps necessary to ensure your success and wellbeing. After all, you deserve a supportive team genuinely cheering for you from the sidelines.