Deeply selfish individuals usually show these 7 traits when they’re in a relationship

It’s intriguing how many of us find ourselves drawn to the allure of self-centered individuals.

Their charm and charisma often mask a deeper, more problematic character trait – selfishness.

In relationships, this can manifest in ways that are subtle yet deeply damaging.

I’ve come across these types, their traits often hidden under layers of charm and persuasion.

Through my encounters, I’ve identified seven telltale traits that selfish individuals consistently show when they’re in a relationship.

1) Their needs are always prioritized

In the complex dance of relationships, it’s natural for give and take to occur.

However, deeply selfish individuals have a tendency to tip the scales in their favor.

Their needs, wants, and desires often take center stage, and they expect their partners to fall in line.

This priority shift isn’t always overt.

It can be as subtle as choosing a restaurant they prefer every time you dine out or as significant as disregarding your career aspirations for the sake of theirs.

This imbalance, over time, creates a dynamic where their needs are always met, while yours are left unattended.

The danger here lies not just in the immediate neglect of your needs, but in the long-term impact on your self-esteem and self-worth.

You may start to believe that your desires are less important or valid, leading to a diminished sense of self.

In relationships, it’s crucial to recognize this trait swiftly.

No one’s needs should be consistently overlooked.

Remember: you deserve a relationship where your needs are valued and respected just as much as theirs.

2) Empathy is often lacking

In my own encounters, I’ve noticed a common thread among deeply selfish individuals – a stark lack of empathy. This isn’t to say they’re incapable of feeling.

Rather, they struggle to step into the shoes of others and understand their feelings.

Research has shown that individuals with high levels of selfishness often exhibit lower levels of empathy, which can negatively impact interpersonal relationships.

This deficiency can turn a relationship into a one-sided affair where your emotions are often dismissed or invalidated.

You might find yourself continually justifying your feelings or struggling to have them acknowledged.

This can lead to feelings of isolation, even when you’re with your partner.

The ability to empathize, to truly connect with someone else’s emotions, is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship.

It’s what allows us to feel seen, heard, and understood by our partners.

Echoing the words of Daniel Goleman, “Empathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes.”

A relationship without empathy is like a song without melody—it lacks the depth and harmony that makes it beautiful.

3) They struggle to see beyond their own perspectives

One striking trait I’ve observed in deeply selfish individuals is their limited ability to see beyond their own perspectives.

This can result in a myopic view of the relationship, often disregarding your feelings and experiences.

Selfish individuals may struggle to understand that a relationship is not just about them, but a shared experience.

This lack of perspective can lead to misunderstandings and disagreements, causing strain in the relationship.

A transformative approach I’ve found incredibly useful for addressing this trait is the “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with Rudá Iandê.

This masterclass challenges the myth of the perfect partner and ideal relationship, grounding participants in reality and emphasizing the importance of mutual respect, empathy, and cooperation.

It encourages self-empowerment and emotional independence, teaching participants that external relationships are mirrors of one’s internal relationship with oneself.

By understanding this, you can take proactive steps to improve both your internal and external connections.

So if you find yourself in a relationship with someone struggling to see beyond their own perspective, I highly recommend checking out this free masterclass.

It’s a powerful tool that can guide you to cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections.

4) They resist change and growth

Another trait that often surfaces in deeply selfish individuals is a resistance to change and personal growth.

They can be comfortable in their patterns, their ways of thinking, and behaving, making it challenging to introduce changes that could benefit the relationship.

This resistance can be particularly harmful if you find yourself growing while your partner remains stagnant.

It’s like trying to sail a boat where one person is rowing forward, and the other is stubbornly resisting the current.

The dynamic can cause a rift in your relationship, leading to feelings of frustration, resentment, and disconnect.

It can even hinder your personal growth journey as you might feel tethered to their resistance.

A healthy relationship should support growth and change for both partners.

If you’re in a relationship where this isn’t the case, I invite you to ask yourself: Is this resistance something you’re willing to navigate for the sake of your relationship?

5) They often lack authentic self-awareness

Ironically, despite their self-focused nature, deeply selfish individuals often lack authentic self-awareness.

They might be acutely aware of their desires and needs, but they may not fully comprehend the impact of their behavior on others.

Research indicates that while 95% of people believe they are self-aware, only 10-15% actually are, highlighting a widespread self-awareness gap.

Such absence of self-awareness can lead to a disconnect in understanding how their actions affect you and the relationship.

It can make mutual understanding and empathy difficult, leading to a one-sided dynamic that favors their needs.

This lack of self-awareness is not just harmful to the relationship but also to the individual themselves.

It narrows their perspective and hinders their personal growth, trapping them in a cycle of selfish behavior.

In the journey towards a fulfilling and balanced relationship, authentic self-awareness is key.

We all have the ability to reflect on our actions, understand their impact, and make positive changes.

An authentic relationship thrives when both partners are willing to engage in this process of self-discovery and growth.

6) They tend to be controlling

Having control over situations can often give us a sense of security and certainty.

However, in deeply selfish individuals, this desire for control can extend into their relationships, and this isn’t about mutual decision-making; it’s about having things their way.

They may wish to dictate the terms of your relationship, from minor details like where you dine out to major ones like your life decisions.

This excessive need for control can stifle spontaneity and freedom, two vital elements for a healthy relationship.

Experiencing this control can be suffocating.

It’s important to remember that relationships are about partnership and equality.

Every individual has a right to express their opinions and make choices.

A relationship is not about control; it’s about cooperation and mutual decision-making.

7) They rarely acknowledge their mistakes

We’re all human, and making mistakes is a part of our learning process.

But deeply selfish individuals often struggle with acknowledging their mistakes.

They may deflect blame, make excuses, or even shift blame onto you.

Studies have shown that individuals with narcissistic tendencies frequently project their own shortcomings onto others, accusing them of behaviors they themselves exhibit.

This inability to take responsibility can hinder conflict resolution and breed resentment.

It’s also a barrier to personal growth since acknowledging our mistakes is the first step towards learning and evolving.

To navigate a relationship with such an individual, it’s essential to establish open communication where mistakes can be discussed constructively.

After all, in a healthy relationship, mistakes are not a sign of failure but opportunities for growth and understanding.

Each of these traits reflects the potential challenges you may face when dealing with deeply selfish individuals in relationships.

Unmasking the traits of deeply selfish individuals

In this journey, we’ve delved into the challenging landscape that a relationship with deeply selfish individuals presents.

We’ve explored how their traits often manifest subtly, but with significant impact on the relationship dynamics and personal wellbeing.

Recognizing these traits is not about pointing fingers or blaming, but more about understanding our situations better.

It’s about realizing that when someone constantly prioritizes their needs, lacks empathy, resists change, or never acknowledges their mistakes, it’s not a reflection of your worth but a sign of their self-centered nature.

The understanding we gain from this exploration empowers us to make informed decisions about our relationships.

It prompts us to ask ourselves: Are we willing to navigate these challenges?

Or is it time for us to seek relationships that offer mutual respect, empathy, and cooperation?

For those seeking to deepen their understanding and improve their relationship dynamics, I highly recommend the free “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with Rudá Iandê.

This masterclass offers invaluable insights into how our external relationships reflect our internal state, encouraging self-empowerment and emotional independence.

By participating in this transformative masterclass, you can learn to break free from unrealistic ideals and embrace authentic connections.

It will guide you towards cultivating deeper, more meaningful relationships while fostering your personal growth.

The insights you’ll gain from this masterclass align perfectly with the traits we’ve unveiled here.

It’s an empowering resource that can guide you towards a more fulfilling and authentic life.