I was never considered sharp until I started using these 8 simple tricks in arguments. Now I always have the upper hand.

I used to struggle in arguments. No matter how strong my point was, I always felt like I was a step behind—scrambling for words, getting flustered, or just giving up altogether.

People never saw me as particularly sharp or quick-witted. And honestly? I didn’t either.

But then I started paying attention to how great debaters, negotiators, and even casually persuasive people handled themselves. I picked up a few simple tricks—nothing complicated, just small shifts in approach—and suddenly, everything changed.

Now, I stay calm under pressure, make my points with confidence, and almost always walk away with the upper hand. The best part? Anyone can do this.

Here are the 8 tricks that made all the difference for me.

1) Staying calm throws people off

Arguments can get heated fast. When emotions run high, logic tends to go out the window, and that’s when people start making mistakes.

I used to fall right into this trap—raising my voice, getting defensive, or letting frustration get the best of me. But once I learned to stay calm, everything shifted.

People expect pushback in an argument. They’re ready for tension. But when you remain composed, it throws them off. It makes them second-guess their own reactions and often forces them to slow down, too.

The calmer you are, the more control you have over the conversation. And when you’re in control, you’re already one step ahead.

2) Asking the right questions puts you in control

I used to think winning an argument was all about having the best points and delivering them perfectly. But then I realized something—sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is ask the right question at the right time.

I remember a debate I had with a coworker over a project deadline. They were insisting we push it back, saying there was no way we could finish on time. Instead of immediately arguing my side, I simply asked, “What specifically is causing the delay?”

That one question changed everything. They hesitated, realizing they hadn’t actually pinpointed a real obstacle—just a general feeling that it might be too much work. Suddenly, I wasn’t the one defending my position. They were now explaining theirs, and in doing so, they started seeing the flaws in their own argument.

A well-placed question forces people to clarify their stance, and more often than not, it exposes weak spots they hadn’t even considered. When you control the questions, you control the conversation.

3) Silence makes people uncomfortable

Most people hate silence in a conversation—especially in an argument. The moment there’s a pause, they feel the urge to fill it, often by over-explaining, backtracking, or revealing something they didn’t intend to.

In fact, studies have shown that just a few seconds of silence can make people so uneasy that they start second-guessing themselves. That’s why skilled negotiators and interviewers use silence as a tool—they know that the longer they wait, the more likely the other person is to crack under the pressure.

Instead of rushing to respond in an argument, try pausing for a few seconds after the other person speaks. Let their words hang in the air. More often than not, they’ll jump in to clarify or soften their stance, giving you even more leverage.

4) Repeating their words makes them rethink

People don’t always hear how their own arguments sound until they’re echoed back at them. A simple but powerful trick is to repeat key parts of what someone just said—word for word or in a slightly shortened version.

If someone insists, “This plan will never work because it’s too complicated,” you can calmly respond with, “So you think it will never work just because it’s complicated?”

This does two things. First, it forces them to really consider their own words, sometimes making them realize that their argument isn’t as strong as they thought. Second, it shows that you’re listening closely, which can make them more careful about what they say next.

The best part? You’re not even arguing—you’re just holding up a mirror. And sometimes, that’s all it takes to shift the conversation in your favor.

5) Lowering your voice makes people listen

I used to think that if I wanted to be heard in an argument, I had to speak louder. But the more I paid attention to great communicators, the more I realized they did the opposite—they lowered their voices.

The first time I tried it, I was in a disagreement with a friend. Instead of matching their rising tone, I deliberately spoke slower and softer. Almost immediately, they stopped talking over me and started leaning in, actually listening to what I was saying.

Raising your voice signals emotional reaction, but lowering it signals confidence and control. It forces people to quiet down and pay attention—not because you demanded it, but because your tone made them feel like they had to.

6) Admitting small weaknesses makes you more persuasive

Most people go into arguments trying to appear flawless, as if admitting even the smallest weakness will make them lose. But strangely enough, the opposite is often true.

I’ve found that when I acknowledge a minor flaw in my argument—before the other person can call it out—it actually makes me seem more credible. It disarms them. Instead of feeling like they have to tear my point apart, they start seeing me as reasonable, which makes them more open to what I have to say.

Saying something like, “You’re right, this approach isn’t perfect, but here’s why it still works best,” can be far more powerful than stubbornly defending every little detail. It shifts the dynamic from a battle to a discussion—one that you’re quietly steering in your favor.

7) Using their name changes the tone

People respond differently when they hear their own name—it grabs their attention, makes them feel recognized, and subtly shifts the tone of the conversation.

I started using this in arguments, and the difference was immediate. Instead of saying, “That doesn’t make sense,” I’d say, “Mark, that doesn’t really make sense, does it?” Just that small change made the conversation feel more personal and less like a battle.

Using someone’s name softens tension and makes them feel like you’re talking to them rather than at them. And when people feel acknowledged, they’re much more likely to actually listen.

8) Staying quiet after making your point is the ultimate power move

Most people feel the need to keep talking after they’ve made their argument, as if adding more words will make it stronger. But in reality, the most effective thing you can do is say what you need to say—then stop.

I used to over-explain, trying to make sure the other person really understood my point. But all that did was give them more opportunities to poke holes in my argument.

Once I started making my case and then letting silence do the rest, I noticed something interesting: people started filling in the gaps themselves, sometimes even convincing themselves that I was right.

When you speak with confidence and then go quiet, it forces the other person to sit with what you’ve said. And that’s when your words have the most impact.

Winning isn’t about being the loudest

If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably noticed that the sharpest people in arguments aren’t necessarily the ones who talk the most or the loudest.

In fact, true control in a conversation comes from understanding how people think, how they react, and how small shifts in your approach can completely change the outcome.

It’s not about overpowering others—it’s about staying calm, choosing your words carefully, and knowing when silence speaks louder than anything else.

Once you start applying these tricks, you’ll realize that having the upper hand isn’t about forcing your way through an argument. It’s about guiding it without the other person even realizing.