If you never felt validated as a child, you’re probably showing these 8 signs of resilience as an adult

Growing up without feeling validated can be tough, but it can also shape you into a resilient adult.

It’s a struggle not many people understand unless they’ve been through it.

When you’re constantly trying to prove your worth as a child, you unknowingly develop a knack for bouncing back from setbacks.

It’s like your inner warrior has been trained to take a hit and keep moving forward.

In this piece, we’re going to explore the 8 signs that show you’re a survivor, molded by those early years of feeling invalidated.

These are signs that you might not even realize are testaments to your strength.

1) You’re a master at self-reliance

Growing up without validation can feel like you’re on an island, isolated from the comfort of approval.

But there’s a flip side to this.

You learn to rely on yourself, and you become your own biggest supporter.

This trait of self-reliance can be seen in how you approach problems.

You don’t wait for someone else to swoop in and solve your issues.

Instead, you take matters into your own hands, demonstrating an impressive level of independence.

Think about it.

You’ve been navigating life’s challenges on your own from a young age.

It has made you resilient and resourceful, capable of handling anything that comes your way.

This is not to say that you shun help from others or don’t value teamwork.

But at the end of the day, you know that you have the strength within you to tackle any obstacle.

2) You’re not easily swayed by others’ opinions

One thing I’ve noticed about myself, and it’s something I attribute to my childhood, is that I don’t get easily swayed by others’ opinions.

Sure, I listen to advice and consider different perspectives, but at the end of the day, I make my own decisions.

Back when I was a kid, there wasn’t much validation going around.

So, I learned to trust my own judgment. I had to.

There was no one consistently telling me what was right or wrong, so I had to figure it out on my own.

For example, when I had to choose a college major, everyone around me had an opinion.

“Go for science,” some said. “Business is where the money is,” others chimed in.

But I knew what I was passionate about – literature.

It wasn’t a popular choice, and it definitely didn’t promise a big paycheck. But it felt right to me.

And that’s what I went with.

It wasn’t the easiest path, but it was mine. And looking back, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This ability to stand firm in your decisions, even when others disagree or disapprove, is another sign of resilience born out of a lack of validation during childhood.

You learn to trust your own instincts and make choices that align with your inner truth.

3) You have a high threshold for stress

When you grow up in an environment where your feelings and achievements aren’t validated, you may find yourself developing a high tolerance for stress.

It may not be the most pleasant of coping mechanisms, but it’s one that can serve you well later in life.

Studies have shown that children who experience adversity, such as lack of validation, often grow up to be adults who can handle high-stress situations more effectively.

It’s like your system gets familiar with stress and learns to navigate it better.

This doesn’t mean that you’re immune to life’s pressures.

But when stormy weather hits, you’re more likely to put on your raincoat and keep going rather than waiting for the storm to pass.

It’s a resilience that has been honed by years of facing challenges head-on.

You know how to stay calm under pressure and keep pushing forward, no matter what life throws at you.

4) You’re comfortable with uncertainty

Through your experiences, you’ve learned that life doesn’t always follow a neat script.

Things don’t always go as planned, and often, there’s no one there to reassure you that it’s all going to be okay.

As a result, you become more comfortable with uncertainty.

There’s a certain level of unpredictability that you learn to accept and even embrace.

You understand that everything in life is temporary and changing.

This comfort with uncertainty allows you to be flexible and adapt to different situations.

You don’t panic when things don’t go as planned. Instead, you adjust your sails and find a new direction.

5) You have a deep empathy for others

When you’ve grown up without validation, you understand what it feels like to be dismissed or overlooked.

You know the sting of having your feelings and experiences invalidated.

But from this pain blooms a beautiful trait – empathy.

You develop an innate ability to understand and share the feelings of others because you’ve been there.

You know what it’s like, and you wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.

This deep sense of empathy allows you to connect with people on a profound level.

You’re able to offer comfort and understanding, often without needing to say a word.

Your experiences have gifted you with the ability to truly see people, to acknowledge their emotions and experiences, much in the way you wanted to be seen as a child.

6) You’re highly self-aware

Growing up without validation often means you spend a lot of time introspecting.

You’re constantly trying to understand why you’re not receiving the validation you crave.

Over time, this introspection leads to a heightened sense of self-awareness.

I remember, as a child, spending hours trying to understand why my achievements didn’t seem to matter.

Was I not good enough? Was there something wrong with me?

These questions pushed me to look inward and understand myself better.

Today, I consider this self-awareness one of my strengths.

I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know what triggers me and what motivates me.

And while this has been a journey of self-discovery born out of pain, it’s also been empowering.

This heightened self-awareness allows you to understand your emotions better and manage them effectively.

It helps you navigate life with a clearer understanding of who you are and what you want.

And that’s another sign of resilience that often stems from a lack of validation in childhood.

7) You’re not afraid to seek help

In a world that often equates asking for help with weakness, you understand that it takes strength to admit you need support.

Growing up without validation has taught you that you can’t always do everything on your own.

There are times when it’s okay to reach out and ask for help.

And there’s absolutely no shame in doing so.

Whether it’s seeking professional help like therapy or simply reaching out to a trusted friend for a chat, you’re not afraid to take that step.

You know that seeking help doesn’t mean you’re weak – it means you’re strong enough to understand your needs and take steps towards fulfilling them.

This ability to seek help when needed is a sign of resilience.

It shows that you’re not just about surviving; you’re about thriving.

And if that means reaching out for support, then that’s exactly what you’ll do.

8) You’re stronger than you think

Growing up without validation can be incredibly tough.

But the resilience that it fosters within you is immeasurable.

You’re a survivor.

You’ve faced adversity, felt the pain, and come out stronger on the other side.

You’ve learned to rely on yourself, to trust your judgments, and to bounce back from setbacks.

You might not always feel it, but you’re stronger than you think.

And that’s something to be immensely proud of.

Resilience: A testament to your strength

The journey from a childhood devoid of validation to adulthood is a challenging one.

But it’s also one that builds resilience, strength, and a unique perspective on life.

You’ve weathered the storm, and you’ve come out stronger.

Each sign of resilience that we’ve discussed is not just a testament to your past, it’s a beacon lighting up your future.

Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back.

It’s about growing through the experience and coming out stronger on the other side. It’s about acknowledging your strength and using it to navigate the challenges life throws at you.

So take a moment to reflect on your resilience. Celebrate it.

You’re stronger than you think, and that’s something truly remarkable.