If you want to become more assertive in your daily life, say goodbye to these 8 habits

Being assertive isn’t about being loud or aggressive—it’s about knowing your worth, setting boundaries, and speaking up with confidence.

But let’s be honest, that’s easier said than done. Too often, we fall into habits that hold us back—whether it’s avoiding conflict, over-apologizing, or second-guessing ourselves.

These patterns might feel comfortable, but they’re quietly chipping away at our ability to stand our ground.

If you want to show up more confidently in your daily life, it’s time to let go of the habits that are keeping you stuck.

Here are eight things you need to say goodbye to if you’re ready to become more assertive.

1) Saying “sorry” when you don’t need to

Apologizing when you’ve actually done something wrong? That’s just basic decency.

But constantly saying “sorry” for things that don’t require an apology—like taking up space, asking a question, or simply expressing your opinion—can seriously undermine your confidence.

Over time, it trains your brain to believe you’re always in the wrong, even when you’re not.

Being assertive means recognizing your own value and speaking without unnecessary hesitation. So if “sorry” has become your default response, it might be time to hit pause and ask yourself: Do I really need to apologize for this?

Chances are, the answer is no.

2) Letting people interrupt you

I used to let people talk over me all the time.

In meetings, conversations, even casual hangouts—I’d start speaking, and the moment someone cut in, I’d just stop and let them take over. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal, that maybe what they had to say was more important.

But over time, I realized something: by letting others constantly interrupt me, I was sending the message that my voice didn’t matter.

And the worst part? I started believing it too.

Being assertive means standing your ground—even in conversation. Now, when someone interrupts me, I don’t just shrink back. I keep talking, or I politely say, “Hold on, I wasn’t finished.” It felt uncomfortable at first, but the more I did it, the more natural it became.

If you want to be more assertive, don’t let interruptions silence you. Your words matter—make sure they’re heard.

3) Using weak language when you speak

The words you choose shape how others perceive you—and how you perceive yourself.

Phrases like “I think,” “Maybe,” or “Does that make sense?” can make even the strongest ideas sound uncertain.

In fact, studies have shown that people who use more assertive language are often seen as more competent and confident, even if their actual expertise is the same as someone who speaks more hesitantly.

That means the way you frame your thoughts can have just as much impact as the thoughts themselves.

If you want to sound more assertive, start by cutting out unnecessary qualifiers.

Instead of saying, “I think this could work,” say, “This will work.”

Instead of “Maybe we should try this,” say, “Let’s try this.”

Small changes in language can make a big difference in how you come across—both to others and to yourself.

4) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most powerful nonverbal signals you can use. It shows confidence, presence, and self-assurance—all key traits of an assertive person.

But if you tend to look away when speaking or listening, you might unknowingly come across as unsure or disengaged. Worse yet, avoiding eye contact can make it harder to form connections with others, making conversations feel distant or unbalanced.

The good news?

Eye contact is a skill you can improve. Start small—hold someone’s gaze for an extra second before looking away. When listening, focus on their eyes instead of scanning the room.

Over time, it will feel more natural, and you’ll notice how much more confident and assertive you appear—without saying a single word.

5) Saying yes when you want to say no

For the longest time, I said yes to everything.

Extra tasks at work, plans I didn’t want to go to, favors that drained my time and energy. I told myself I was just being nice—but in reality, I was afraid of disappointing people.

The problem is, every time you say yes when you really want to say no, you’re putting someone else’s needs above your own. And the more you do it, the harder it becomes to stand up for yourself.

Being assertive means recognizing that your time, energy, and boundaries matter just as much as anyone else’s. Now, instead of automatically agreeing to things, I pause and ask myself: Do I actually want to do this?

If the answer is no, I say so—without guilt or over-explaining.

Trust me, learning to say no isn’t just freeing—it’s necessary.

6) Speaking too much to justify yourself

You might think that explaining yourself in detail makes you sound more reasonable or likable.

But in reality, over-explaining can actually make you seem less confident.

When you feel the need to justify every decision, opinion, or boundary, it signals uncertainty—even when you’re completely sure of what you’re saying. Assertive people don’t fill the silence with endless explanations. They say what they need to say, and they leave it at that.

Next time you catch yourself over-explaining, stop and ask: Does this really need more clarification?

More often than not, a simple “No, I can’t,” or “This is what I’ve decided,” is all that’s needed.

Let your words stand on their own—you’ll be surprised how much stronger they sound.

7) Waiting for permission to speak up

Have you ever had a great idea but hesitated to share it, waiting for the “right moment” or for someone else to invite you into the conversation?

If so, you’re not alone. But waiting for permission—whether in meetings, social situations, or even personal relationships—can make you fade into the background.

Assertive people don’t wait to be called on. They recognize that their thoughts and opinions are just as valuable as anyone else’s, and they contribute without second-guessing themselves.

If you tend to hold back, challenge yourself to speak up sooner. Instead of waiting for the perfect opening, create one.

The more you do it, the easier it gets—and the more others will start paying attention when you do.

8) Ignoring your own needs

If you constantly put others first while neglecting yourself, it’s impossible to be truly assertive.

Assertiveness isn’t just about how you communicate—it’s about recognizing that your needs, feelings, and priorities matter just as much as anyone else’s.

People who struggle with assertiveness often dismiss their own wants, convincing themselves that they’re being “easygoing” or “flexible.” But in reality, they’re teaching themselves to settle for less.

Being assertive starts with valuing yourself. If something isn’t working for you, say so. If you need something, ask for it.

The more you honor your own needs, the more natural it becomes to stand up for yourself in every area of life.

Becoming more assertive starts with you

If you’ve read this far, hopefully, you’ve started to see that being assertive isn’t about being pushy or demanding—it’s about respecting yourself as much as you respect others.

Because assertiveness isn’t just about what you say. It’s in the way you carry yourself, the boundaries you set, and the way you allow yourself to take up space in the world.

And the best part? It’s something you can build, step by step. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes.

So if you’ve been holding back, second-guessing yourself, or waiting for permission—stop. You don’t need permission to stand tall and own your voice. You just need to start.