People who act like the victim when they’re at fault usually display these 7 behaviors, according to psychology

As a human being, feeling heard, understood, and validated is vital. However, there are moments when we encounter individuals who consistently portray themselves as victims, even when they are at fault.

This phenomenon refers to people who, instead of taking responsibility for their actions, choose to play the victim card. This behavior is not just frustrating but can also be emotionally draining.

Victim players often exhibit specific traits that psychologists have identified and studied over the years. These traits can be subtle and may not be obvious at first glance, often becoming clearer over time.

In this article, we’ve compiled a list of 7 behaviors that people who act like the victim when they’re at fault usually display, according to psychology. Keep reading to learn more about these behaviors and how to spot them.

1. They deflect blame onto others

First up, people who play the victim will never admit it. No matter what happens, they always have someone else to point the finger at.

Instead of owning up to their mistakes, they shift the blame onto a friend, a coworker, or even “bad luck.” It’s never about what they did—it’s always about what someone else should have done differently.

This habit comes from a need to protect their ego. Admitting fault means taking responsibility, and that can be uncomfortable. So, rather than facing the truth, they redirect the focus.

If they missed a deadline, it’s because their boss didn’t remind them. If they forgot your birthday, it’s because they were so busy with work. There’s always an excuse that takes the heat off them.

The problem is, this behavior makes it hard for others to trust them. When someone refuses to take accountability, relationships suffer.

Nobody likes feeling like the scapegoat for someone else’s mistakes. At some point, people stop buying the excuses, and the person playing the blame game finds themselves standing alone.

2. They exaggerate their suffering to gain sympathy

People who act like the victim even when they’re the ones at fault really know how to turn it up. They can turn every minor inconvenience into a full-blown crisis.

Got called out for being late? Suddenly, they’re the victim of an unfair system.

Forgot to do something important? Now, they’re overwhelmed and no one understands how hard their life is.

They use exaggeration as a way to shift focus from what they did wrong to how much they’re supposedly struggling.

This isn’t always intentional. Sometimes, they genuinely feel like they’re suffering more than they are. But instead of fixing the issue, they play up their hardship so others feel sorry for them.

If they can get enough sympathy, maybe people will forget they were the ones in the wrong to begin with.

The tricky part is that their struggles might be real—but that doesn’t excuse dodging responsibility.

Everyone has bad days, but turning every mistake into a personal tragedy just makes people less likely to take them seriously over time. Instead of sympathy, they often end up with frustration from those around them.

3. They twist the narrative to make themselves look innocent

Ever had a conversation with someone who remembers things very differently from how they actually happened? That’s because they’re great at rewriting the story to make themselves look like the victim.

Instead of admitting what they did wrong, they spin the situation so they come out looking innocent—or even like the one who was wronged.

They might leave out key details, exaggerate certain moments, or completely change the way things unfolded.

Maybe they were rude first, but they’ll only talk about how you snapped at them.

Maybe they broke a promise, but they’ll focus on how unreasonable you were for expecting them to keep it.

This kind of storytelling works—at least for a while. People who don’t know the full story might take their side.

But sooner or later, the truth catches up. And once others realize they constantly twist reality, they start losing credibility fast.

4. They use guilt-tripping to manipulate others

Another trick that people who act like the victim often use is guilt-tripping. Instead of taking responsibility, they make you feel guilty for even bringing up the issue.

You call them out for something they did, and suddenly, they’re the real victim.

They’ll say things like, “I guess I’m just a terrible person, huh?” or “I do so much for you, and this is how you treat me?” Anything to shift the blame off themselves.

Guilt-tripping works because it makes people second-guess themselves. You might start wondering if you were too harsh or if you should just let it go. And that’s exactly what they want—to make you feel bad enough to stop holding them accountable.

5. They become defensive when confronted

Nobody likes being told they’re wrong, but for people with a victim mentality, it’s a full-blown attack.

The moment they’re called out, they get angry, dismissive, or even aggressive. Instead of listening, they jump straight into defense mode.

You might bring up something calmly, but they’ll act like you’re blowing things out of proportion.

Or they’ll turn it around on you—”Why are you always so critical?” They’d rather argue than admit they made a mistake.

This reaction comes from fear—fear of being wrong, fear of looking bad, fear of feeling guilty. But all it really does is push people away.

Nobody wants to have a simple conversation turn into a battle every time. The more defensive someone is, the harder it is to have an honest, healthy relationship with them.

6. They seek validation from others to reinforce their victimhood

Another thing you’ll notice is that instead of resolving conflicts, they run to others for support. They’ll tell their side of the story—usually leaving out key details—to make themselves look like the victim.

The goal? Get as many people as possible to take their side and make them feel justified.

This is why they always seem to have “backup.” They surround themselves with people who agree with them, not because they’re right, but because they know how to spin a convincing tale.

If enough people tell them they did nothing wrong, they get to keep believing it.

The problem is, relying on validation doesn’t fix anything. It might feel good in the moment, but it keeps them stuck in a cycle of blaming others instead of growing. And eventually, even their supporters start seeing the cracks in their stories.

7. They repeat the same patterns without learning from mistakes

You’d think that after so many conflicts, they’d start to notice a pattern.

But no — instead of learning from their mistakes, they keep making the same ones! Because in their minds, they’re never the problem. They keep blaming, guilt-tripping, and rewriting the story, expecting different results.

This cycle makes it impossible for them to grow. They stay stuck in a loop where every disagreement is someone else’s fault. No self-reflection, no accountability—just the same behaviors on repeat.

At some point, though, life catches up with them. Relationships break down, people stop trusting them, and they’re left wondering why things never seem to work out. The truth is, until they face the problem, nothing will change.

Final thoughts

Dealing with someone who constantly acts like the victim when they’re at fault can be emotionally draining. It’s important to remember that you can’t change someone’s behavior if they aren’t willing to change themselves.

Esteemed psychologist Dr. Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

This quote perfectly encapsulates the essence of dealing with individuals who play the victim role – they must first acknowledge their behavior and accept their role in their problems before any meaningful change can occur.

However, it’s equally important to focus on your mental and emotional wellbeing. If you find yourself constantly being blamed, manipulated, or made to feel guilty, it may be time to reconsider whether this relationship is healthy for you.