People who become distant from their parents as they get older usually display these 5 behaviors

Many shifts occur as we age –  and one of those shifts is the relationship we have with our parents. It’s just a part of growing up.

This shift can stem from a variety of factors—life responsibilities, personal growth, or even unresolved conflicts from the past.

It’s a natural part of navigating adulthood, but it can also leave you feeling disconnected or uncertain about how to maintain the bond you once had.

In this post, we’ll explore five common behaviors that often accompany this growing distance.

By recognizing these patterns, you can better understand your relationship with your parents and take steps to bridge the gap if that’s what you want.

Let’s dive in.

1) A reluctance to share

One of the first signs of growing distance from parents is the tendency to stop sharing personal details about life.

Where once you might have confided in them about your dreams, challenges, or even small daily updates, now those conversations feel less frequent—or even non-existent.

This can happen for many reasons. As you grow older, you may feel more independent and less inclined to seek their advice or input.

Alternatively, you might worry about being judged or misunderstood, especially if your values or lifestyle choices differ from theirs.

Whatever the reason, this lack of sharing can create an emotional gap. Parents might feel left out of your life, and you may find it harder to reconnect because they’re no longer part of your inner circle.

If this resonates with you, consider reflecting on why you’ve stopped opening up. While it’s normal to have boundaries, meaningful relationships thrive on communication.

Taking small steps to share more—even just the highlights of your day—can go a long way toward maintaining a strong connection.

2) Blaming parents for problems

This is a big one.

If you’re a regular reader of psychology, you’ll know that many behaviors and challenges in adulthood are said to stem from childhood experiences.

And who was responsible for those experiences? Our parents. So, it’s natural to think they should take the blame for everything that’s wrong with us, right?

Wrong.

Our parents are people, just like you and me. They make mistakes, have their own struggles, and do the best they can with what they know.

While it’s important to acknowledge the impact of our upbringing, continually blaming parents for our problems can be harmful—not only to our relationship with them but also to our personal growth.

As noted by author and clinical psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore, “Continually blaming parents can keep an adult stuck in the past.”

By refusing to let go of old grievances, we deny ourselves the opportunity to take responsibility for our own lives and move forward.

Instead of assigning blame, consider working toward understanding and, if possible, forgiveness.

Accepting that your parents are imperfect human beings can be a powerful step toward healing and rebuilding a healthier, more mature connection.

3) Prioritizing other relationships

Have you found yourself investing more time and energy into friendships, romantic relationships, or even colleagues, while your relationship with your parents takes a backseat?

This is a common behavior as people grow older and build their own lives.

Friendships and romantic connections often feel more exciting or immediately rewarding, while relationships with parents can feel like they’ll always be there—something you can revisit when you’re less busy.

However, over time, this shift in priorities can create unintentional distance. Your parents might feel neglected, even if you don’t realize you’re doing it.

While it’s natural to focus on the people who are part of your current daily life, maintaining a bond with your parents requires conscious effort.

4) Avoiding difficult conversations

Do you shy away from talking to your parents about things that really matter? Perhaps there’s a past hurt, disagreement, or unresolved tension you’ve been avoiding.

This avoidance is a common behavior among people who feel distant from their parents.

Confronting difficult topics can feel uncomfortable or even overwhelming, especially if you fear conflict or worry it won’t lead to resolution.

As a result, many choose to stick to surface-level interactions, avoiding anything that might rock the boat.

But avoiding tough conversations doesn’t make the issues go away—it just creates more distance.

Psychotherapist Jennifer Gerlach puts it perfectly: “Evading difficult conversations can lead to miscommunication, relationship breakdown, and compromised values.”

Over time, unspoken frustrations or misunderstandings can fester, making it even harder to reconnect.

If this resonates with you, ask yourself: What’s stopping me from addressing these conversations?

Often, taking the step to communicate openly—even if it feels imperfect—can help rebuild trust and deepen your bond.

5) Seeing parents’ views as irrelevant

Last but not least, a growing distance often stems from seeing parents’ views as outdated or irrelevant.

The world is changing rapidly, and it’s easy to feel that our parents might be stuck in their ways, holding onto ideas or values that no longer apply to today’s world.

Because of this, their advice or opinions can feel disconnected or out of touch.

But here’s the thing: not all of their views are irrelevant.

Our parents bring a lifetime of experiences, wisdom, and perspective that can still hold value, even if it doesn’t always align with our current worldview.

They’ve navigated challenges, learned lessons, and have insights that might surprise you if you take the time to listen.

Dismissing their views entirely can create unnecessary emotional distance. Instead, try to approach their opinions with curiosity rather than judgment.

You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but showing respect and a willingness to understand can foster a healthier and more meaningful connection.

Final thoughts

Relationships with parents naturally change as we grow older, but letting distance grow unchecked can leave lasting regrets. Recognizing these subtle signs early gives you the chance to address them before it’s too late.

By being mindful of these behaviors, you can take small but meaningful steps to strengthen your bond, foster better communication, and ensure your connection with your parents remains a priority.

Don’t wait until the gap feels too wide—start reconnecting today.