People who can keep a secret no matter what usually exhibit these 8 unique qualities

There’s a stark difference between people who blab every secret they hear and those who can seal their lips no matter what. This difference lies in certain unique qualities.

Keeping a secret is not about withholding the truth or being dishonest. Instead, it’s about discretion, trust, and respect for another person’s privacy.

People who can keep a secret, truly keep it, display a set of characteristics that set them apart. And guess what? I’ve identified eight of these qualities that are commonly found in such individuals.

So, buckle up as we delve into these distinctive traits that make some people the vaults of secrets while others are like sieves.

1) High level of self-control

Keeping a secret can be a challenge. It’s like a delicious piece of gossip that is begging to be shared. But those who can keep a secret, no matter what, often have an impressive level of self-control.

Self-control is the ability to manage your actions, feelings, and emotions. People who possess a high level of self-control can resist the urge to share secrets, even when the temptation is strong.

It’s comparable to having a delicious piece of cake in front of you, but choosing not to eat it because you’re committed to a healthy diet. Not everyone can do this.

This quality is not just about keeping secrets. It extends to all areas of life, including personal discipline, impulse control, and the ability to delay gratification.

So if someone can keep a secret, it’s likely they have a high level of self-control which helps them in other areas as well. It’s one of those qualities that truly sets them apart.

2) Trustworthiness

Trustworthiness is another key quality found in people who can successfully keep a secret. Trustworthiness is about being reliable, dependable, and someone others can count on.

Let me share a personal example. I have a friend, let’s call her Lisa. Lisa is the embodiment of trustworthiness. Over the years, I’ve confided in her about several personal matters, knowing that my secrets are safe with her.

One time, I was going through a rough patch and shared some very personal information with Lisa. Despite the sensitive nature of the information and the fact that she was friends with others involved, she never once let the secret slip. She proved to be a pillar of support and confidentiality.

That’s what trustworthiness is all about – it’s not just about keeping secrets but it’s also about being someone who people can rely on when they need support or a listening ear. This quality truly sets apart those who can keep secrets from those who can’t.

3) Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s another quality found in people who can keep secrets. When you’re empathetic, you can understand why someone might not want their secret shared.

Did you know that scientists have discovered specific regions in the brain that are associated with empathy? According to a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, brain scans reveal that when we empathize with others, a particular area of our brain – the anterior insular cortex – activates. This suggests that empathy isn’t just an emotional response, but a neurological one.

When someone shares a secret with you, they’re showing vulnerability. If you’re empathetic, you understand this vulnerability and respect their desire for confidentiality. You realize that sharing their secret could hurt them emotionally, which makes you more likely to keep it to yourself.

4) Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a key tenet of Buddhism, and it’s also a significant trait of people who can keep secrets. Being mindful means being present in the moment, fully aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions without judging them.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live with Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve into the concept of mindfulness and how it can influence various aspects of our lives, including our ability to keep secrets.

People who practice mindfulness are less likely to spill secrets impulsively. They’re aware of their thoughts and actions in the present moment and are thus able to control the urge to share confidential information.

Being mindful allows you to recognize the potential harm that can come from revealing someone else’s secret and helps you make a conscious decision to protect that information. It provides you with the mental space to consider your actions and their consequences before acting.

Mindfulness isn’t just about keeping secrets, though. It can help improve many areas of your life. If you’re interested in learning more about the concept and how to incorporate it into your daily life, my book might be just what you’re looking for.

5) Respect for boundaries

Having respect for boundaries is a crucial quality for keeping secrets. It’s about understanding that someone’s personal information is their own and not something to be shared without their permission.

I recall a time when I was entrusted with a secret about a friend’s health. They were dealing with a serious condition but weren’t ready to share it publicly. This was their secret, their story to tell, not mine.

Despite knowing many mutual friends who would be concerned for our friend’s wellbeing, I understood the importance of maintaining this boundary. It wasn’t my place to share their personal health issues with others.

I held onto their secret until they were ready to share it themselves. This experience taught me how respecting someone’s boundaries is intertwined with keeping secrets and maintaining trust.

It’s about acknowledging and honoring the invisible lines that define what is and isn’t our information to share.

6) Openness

This might seem counter-intuitive at first. After all, how can someone who is open be good at keeping secrets? But hear me out.

Openness is about being honest and transparent. It’s about being comfortable with who you are and what you believe in. People who are open are generally seen as more trustworthy because they don’t hide behind a facade.

Now, how does this connect to keeping secrets? Simple. Because they are seen as trustworthy, people often feel comfortable confiding in them. And these open individuals value the trust placed in them enough to keep the secrets shared with them.

Their openness doesn’t mean they share everything indiscriminately. Instead, it means they’re honest about what they can and can’t share, and they respect the trust that others place in them.

It’s an interesting dynamic – their openness encourages others to open up to them, but they also know where to draw the line when it comes to keeping a secret.

7) Good listeners

People who are good at keeping secrets are often excellent listeners. They possess the ability to sit quietly and pay attention to what others are saying, without feeling the need to interject or share the information they’re hearing.

Being a good listener means being fully present in the conversation and showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying. It’s about understanding, not just hearing.

When someone shares a secret with you, they’re not just sharing information; they’re also sharing a part of themselves. Being a good listener allows you to appreciate this and respect the trust they’ve placed in you by choosing not to divulge their secret.

Remember, listening is a skill that can be honed over time. So if you want to become better at keeping secrets, working on your listening skills might be a good place to start.

8) Loyalty

At the core of keeping secrets lies one crucial quality: loyalty. People who can keep a secret demonstrate an unwavering loyalty to the person who confided in them. They understand that revealing a secret can damage relationships and betray the trust placed in them.

Loyalty is about standing by someone, respecting their decisions, and protecting their interests – even when they’re not around. It’s about prioritizing trust and confidentiality over the urge to share information.

In essence, if you can keep a secret, you are not just a friend; you are a loyal ally whom others can trust implicitly. And in today’s world, that is indeed a rare and valuable trait.

In conclusion: It’s about trust

At the heart of being able to keep a secret is the profoundly human trait of trust. Trust is the invisible thread that binds relationships and forms the core of our social fabric.

Keeping a secret isn’t just about respecting someone’s privacy or demonstrating loyalty. It’s about acknowledging and honoring the trust someone places in you when they share something deeply personal.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I discuss in depth how trust is a cornerstone of meaningful relationships and a harmonious society. The principles apply here too.

When you keep a secret, you’re essentially upholding this trust, reinforcing the bond you share with the person who confided in you. It’s an act of respect, empathy, and loyalty that speaks volumes about your character.

So next time you’re entrusted with a secret, remember it’s not just information you’re safeguarding. You’re also protecting a bond of trust that someone has placed in you – a bond that is as precious as it is delicate.

If you want to delve deeper into understanding such profound principles of life, my book might just be the guide you need.