People who look for attention outside of their relationship often display these 7 very subtle behaviors

We’ve all been there – that gut feeling that something’s off in a relationship. Maybe your partner seems distant, or focused on everyone but you.

It’s important to note that these feelings are not always indicative of foul play. However, sometimes, they can be subtle signs of your partner seeking attention elsewhere.

In this article, we’ll dive into seven behaviors often displayed by individuals who look for attention outside of their relationship.

These signs are subtle, and often overlooked. But once you know what to look for, you’ll be better equipped to address and resolve any issues in your relationship.

So, let’s get started on this journey towards a deeper understanding of your relationship dynamics.

1) They become overly protective of their personal devices

We live in a digital age, where our phones and computers hold a lot of our personal information.

When a person starts to become unusually protective of their devices, it could be a subtle sign of them seeking attention elsewhere.

This doesn’t mean that every time your partner puts a passcode on their phone, they’re hiding something. Privacy is important in any relationship.

However, if they suddenly change their passwords, start deleting their browsing history, or become extremely anxious every time you’re near their phone or computer, it could be a signal.

Remember, this alone doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is looking for attention outside the relationship. But if it’s combined with other behaviors on this list, it might be time for a conversation.

2) They show excessive interest in your schedule

It might seem counterintuitive at first. After all, isn’t your partner supposed to be interested in your day-to-day activities?

However, if they start showing an excessive interest in your schedule, particularly in knowing when you’ll be home or away, it could be a subtle sign of something else.

Perhaps, they’re trying to figure out when they’ll have free time to themselves. Or maybe, they’re planning their own schedule around yours.

Again, this behavior on its own isn’t necessarily a red flag. But combined with other signs on this list, it could indicate that your partner is seeking attention outside the relationship.

3) They become overly critical

Sometimes, when a person is seeking attention outside their relationship, they may start finding faults in their partner that weren’t an issue before.

Suddenly, your usual habits or quirks become problematic. They might nitpick your behavior, your appearance, or even your values. This can often be a way of justifying their own actions to themselves, by shifting the blame onto you.

I’ve seen this behavior time and time again in my research and work with couples. It’s something I discuss in detail in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Yes, criticism is a normal part of any relationship. But if it’s unconstructive, constant and seems to come out of nowhere, it could be a subtle sign of your partner’s attention wandering elsewhere.

4) They start to become distant

One of the more noticeable signs is when your partner starts to distance themselves emotionally and physically from you. They may seem uninterested in your day, or less inclined to share their own thoughts and feelings.

This emotional disconnect can be tough to handle. It can make you feel like you’re alone in your relationship, which is not a healthy place to be.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

If you’re feeling lonely and disconnected in your relationship, it’s important to address it. Open communication is key here. Don’t be afraid to express how you’re feeling and ask about any changes you’ve noticed.

5) They show less interest in intimacy

Intimacy is a crucial part of any romantic relationship. It’s not just about physical closeness, but also about emotional connection and vulnerability.

When your partner starts seeking attention outside the relationship, one of the first things to suffer is often the level of intimacy between you two. They might seem less interested in being physically close or sharing intimate moments.

From my own experience working with couples, this can be particularly hurtful. It’s hard not to take it personally. But remember, it’s not about you, it’s about them and their own issues.

Pay attention if your partner begins to withdraw from these intimate moments without any clear reason. It could be a sign that their attention is elsewhere.

6) They start spending more time with new friends

A sudden interest in spending a lot of time with new friends can be another subtle sign. Of course, it’s important for everyone to have their own set of friends and separate social lives.

However, when this comes with less time spent together, less communication about these new friends, or secretive behavior, it may be a signal of them looking for attention outside the relationship.

As Oscar Wilde wisely said, “True friends stab you in the front.” In other words, honesty and openness are key in any relationship – be it friendship or romance.

I’ve dealt with numerous cases where the sudden presence of ‘new friends’ was a red flag. It’s a subtle change that’s easy to dismiss but can have significant implications.

For more insights on relationships and subtle signs to look out for, consider following my work on Facebook. I regularly share my latest articles and thoughts there to help you navigate the complex world of relationships.

7) They start to make more excuses

When someone begins to seek attention outside their relationship, they may start making more excuses. They might suddenly have to work late more often, or have unexplained absences that weren’t typical before.

It’s a hard truth to face, but if your partner consistently seems to be finding reasons to be away from you, it could be a sign of them looking elsewhere for attention.

Remember, everyone has off days or periods when work is more demanding. But if you notice a consistent pattern of excuses and absences, it’s worth having an open and honest conversation about it.

Reflecting on relationship dynamics

Understanding the complexities of human behavior, especially when it comes to relationships, can be a daunting task. However, recognizing subtle signs can significantly help in addressing any potential issues before they escalate.

The seven subtle behaviors we’ve discussed can provide you with some insights and help you navigate your relationship with a more discerning eye. If you notice several of these signs in your partner, remember that open communication is key.

However, make sure to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. It’s possible your partner is going through something they haven’t been able to express.

These behaviors may be a cry for help rather than an indication of infidelity or lack of interest in you.

It’s also important to keep in mind that these signs are not definitive proof of anything. They are merely possible indicators that something might be off.

As I always say, every relationship is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

Now, for a deeper exploration and understanding of these dynamics, I highly recommend watching this video by Justin Brown on the illusion of happiness.

It offers valuable insights on how chasing happiness often leads to discontent and provides a fresh perspective on finding contentment within oneself and one’s relationship.

Relationships require work, empathy, and mutual understanding. Recognizing this is the first step towards building a stronger bond with your partner.