People who struggle to gain respect from others often display these 8 subtle behaviors

Navigating the world of interpersonal relationships can be like trying to find your way through a dense, foggy forest.

You’re doing your best, making what you think are the right moves, but still, you’re not getting the respect you feel you deserve. It’s confusing, it’s frustrating, and it can really shake your confidence.

You might be wondering why some people seem to command respect effortlessly while you’re left struggling. You may even start questioning if there’s something wrong with you.

But let me tell you this – it’s not about you as a person, but rather about some subtle behaviors that could be sending the wrong signals.

It’s not always all fireworks and drama. Sometimes it’s just these small things we barely notice that can make all the difference.

In the following article, we will delve into these 8 subtle behaviors to help you identify them and make the necessary adjustments. Stick with me, this is going to be a game-changer.

1) Neglecting personal boundaries

Respect is a two-way street, and it starts with self-respect. We’ve all been there – saying yes when we really want to say no, not standing our ground when we should have.

It’s a common misconception that being accommodating and always agreeing will make people respect you more. But here’s the thing, it often doesn’t work that way.

If you’re constantly putting others’ needs before your own, not asserting your personal boundaries, it may lead to others taking you for granted.

They may not even realize it, but they’re likely to respect you less because they perceive you as someone who doesn’t value their own time, space, or decisions.

And let’s be real here, it’s not about being selfish or demanding. It’s about ensuring that your needs are met too, about standing up for what you believe in and maintaining your dignity.

2) Seeking constant validation

Now, don’t get me wrong, we all need validation to some extent. It’s a basic human need to feel seen, heard, and appreciated. But when you start relying on others to validate your worth, that’s where the problem lies.

I remember this one time when I was working on a big project at work. I had put in my heart and soul into it and was really proud of what I had accomplished.

But instead of feeling confident about my work, I found myself constantly seeking approval from my colleagues and superiors. I was anxious about their opinions and kept second-guessing myself.

Looking back, I realize that my need for validation was not just affecting my confidence but also how others perceived me. It was as if I was indirectly telling them that I didn’t trust my own abilities and needed their approval to feel worthy.

3) Shying away from authenticity

Bruce Lee once said, “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” This quote beautifully encapsulates the essence of authenticity – a quality that is deeply intertwined with respect.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of mimicking those who we perceive as successful or respected. We start adopting their mannerisms, their way of speaking, even their opinions – all in an attempt to gain similar respect.

But here’s the catch – people can sense inauthenticity. And nothing diminishes respect faster than being fake.

I’ll admit, I’ve been there too. In my early career days, I would often try to emulate my successful seniors, thinking that’s the way to go. But it just didn’t feel right. It was as if I was wearing a mask all the time, and people could see through it.

Embracing your true self, with all your quirks and imperfections, is not just liberating but also a sure-shot way to gain genuine respect.

4) Avoiding eye contact

Did you know that your eyes can speak volumes about your confidence and self-esteem? It’s true.

In fact, psychological studies have found that maintaining eye contact during a conversation can greatly affect how others perceive you.

When we avoid eye contact, it’s often seen as a sign of insecurity or disinterest. It’s like we’re unconsciously telling the other person that we’re unsure of ourselves or that we’re not fully engaged in the conversation.

And let’s face it, it’s hard to respect someone who doesn’t seem confident or interested.

But when we maintain eye contact, it shows that we’re confident and present in the conversation. It shows that we respect the other person and value what they have to say. And in return, they are more likely to respect us as well.

5) Lack of active listening

Communication is not just about expressing ourselves, but also about understanding others. And that’s where active listening comes into play. It’s not merely about hearing what the other person is saying but truly understanding their perspective.

When we don’t actively listen to others, it sends a clear message that we don’t value their thoughts or opinions. It’s like we’re telling them that our thoughts are more important than theirs. And that’s not a great way to earn respect.

I have noticed this behavior in many professional settings. People are so eager to put forth their views that they barely pay attention to what the other person is saying. T

hey might be nodding their heads, but their minds are elsewhere, already formulating their next response.

But when you genuinely listen to someone, when you make an effort to understand their viewpoint, it shows that you respect them and value their input. This, in turn, can instill a sense of respect for you in them.

6) Failing to keep commitments

We’ve all heard the saying, “actions speak louder than words,” and it rings particularly true when it comes to earning respect. A key factor that can influence how others perceive us is our ability to keep our commitments.

When we fail to deliver on our promises, it can lead others to question our reliability and integrity. It’s like we’re telling them that we don’t take our words seriously. And if we can’t respect our own commitments, how can we expect others to respect us?

I’ve seen this play out in various situations – in work projects, in friendships, even in little day-to-day tasks. People promise things without fully considering if they can deliver. And when they fail to keep their word, it chips away at the respect others have for them.

On the other hand, being someone who sticks by their word, who takes their commitments seriously, can significantly enhance your reputation. It shows that you’re dependable, that you respect your own word and thus deserve the respect of others.

7) Playing the victim

It’s natural to feel hurt or upset when things don’t go our way. But continuously playing the victim, blaming others, or circumstances for our problems can hinder us from gaining respect.

When we adopt a victim mentality, it’s like we’re telling others that we have no control over our life or situation. This can lead others to perceive us as helpless or lacking in self-efficacy.

I’ve observed this behavior in some people around me. They would always blame their circumstances or other people for their problems, never taking a moment to reflect on their part in the situation.

And over time, I noticed that people started taking them less seriously, their words held less weight.

On the flip side, taking responsibility for our actions and situation shows strength and self-awareness. It shows that we’re not just passive spectators in our life but active participants who can learn and grow from our experiences.

8) Lack of self-care

Last but not least, one of the subtle behaviors that can impact the respect we receive from others is how we treat ourselves. Self-care goes beyond just pampering oneself.

It’s about maintaining our physical health, nurturing our mental well-being, and nourishing our spirit.

When we neglect self-care, it’s like we’re telling others that we don’t value ourselves enough to take care of our own needs. And if we don’t value ourselves, how can we expect others to do so?

On the other hand, when we make self-care a priority, it not only improves our overall well-being but also boosts our self-esteem and confidence. And as we’ve discussed before, confidence plays a crucial role in commanding respect.

In conclusion

Respect is not something to be demanded; it’s something to be earned. It starts with self-respect – respecting our boundaries, our needs, our authentic selves. When we start respecting ourselves, we set a standard for how others should treat us.

Here’s a quote by Mahatma Gandhi that I find particularly powerful: “They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.” It beautifully captures the essence of what we’ve been discussing.

So let’s commit to valuing ourselves more, to being more authentic and present in our interactions, to taking ownership of our actions and decisions.

And as you embark on this journey of self-awareness and growth, remember to be gentle with yourself. Change takes time.

But with each small step, you’re becoming a better version of yourself – a version that commands respect not just from others, but most importantly, from yourself.