Finally hit rock bottom

After months of applications (in person, online, recruiter, temp/day jobs) I’ve officially lost all hope and am considering kms. I moved to Phoenix from Tennessee in September of ‘22 on a false dream from a guy I thought was a close friend. He was working as a BHT in the valley and offered me a place to stay, a BHT job, and opportunity to grow in the company. I viewed it as a new chapter and “better horizons” but after 6 months the company was raided by the FBI because they were committing insurance fraud. I lost my home, my job, my “friend(s)” all in the same day and have been alone since. I drove from TN with all of my belongings and a small cushion saved for rainy days and that diminished over the summer of ‘23 when paying for storage, gas, food, and other essentials. I’ve been unable to secure employment since then as I’ve been told that I’m over qualified, have been ghosted, and overall lied to by hiring managers on any given opportunity.

I have a bachelors degree in business administration and it doesn’t matter in this market. I can’t secure employment in corporate places nor at Subway or Harkins Theatre. I’ve had to live in my car at periods of time, sweating through the night, and had to wake up with a smile on my face and practice gratitude. I don’t have anything left in me anymore. Moving here was the worst decision of my life and I don’t have the means to go back home. I feel so dumb everyday and with every inconvenience that comes up, I die more inside. I can’t blame anyone else besides myself and I genuinely don’t want to be here anymore. There’s very little to live for, I don’t have a support system, and I’m burned out from a year of “toxic optimism”. The state of AZ says I don’t qualify for unemployment nor food stamps. I’ve been living off of what I can (primarily people I’ve come across) and I feel like a Bum. As of this month my bank account has been frozen from overdrafts, my credit score fell 200 points, and when asking for help from strangers of proximity (never asked for handouts – only networking and passing my resume out) they look at me as a Bum. I hate my life right now and have hated it since December of 2022. I know it’s such a permanent decision but the heat of AZ, the nasty people, no money, no job, transportation, etc is only affecting me and my death would only affect me as well. I can’t do this anymore so this Reddit post is my last option.

If you have or know anyone that has an opportunity for work in the East Valley of Phoenix or even a remote position please let me know. I’m dead inside right now but I’m a great employee and have a great attitude despite all the troughs.