Struggling a lot with work and looking for some advice

Sorry in advance foe the long text lol

I’m 20y and live in Germany. After school I didn’t know what job I should apply for so I went to a language school for 2 years to have some more time to think. During that time I had multiple internships and applied for many different jobs and companies, eventually securing an apprenticeship as an IT specialist for system integration thanks to a friend working at the same company. I’ve always had difficulties with mental health which was also partly due to me struggling with both school and all my applications getting rejected so I was actually pretty excited to have finally found something. I started with 4 other apprentices and at first it seemed like I had won the lottery. I’ve always heard horror stories about horrible jobs or companies but everyone was very friendly, the atmosphere was good and the pay was pretty good for an apprenticeship.

At first all we did was theory which is understandable ofc. Every now and then we were allowed to accompany actual employees on trips to customers and help out there but that was always very rare. Most of the time we were supposed to study for a certificate that was also supposed to teach us some IT basics, however it was so incredibly dry and monotonous and got tiring very quickly but whenever we asked for some more direct or hands on teaching the answer became more and more “Just play around a bit yourself and try to figure it out” which didn’t help whatsoever. All of us were still completely new and had no prior experience so just trying things out didn’t do much. We were also told “Yeah you’ll be able to do more hands-on stuff soon” only for that to always take multiple months to happen and then it was usually only around one day of actual work. Most of the employees were also doing home office most of the time, something that we apprentices were only allowed to do under rare circumstances. So all that was left for us to do was to read dry walls of text for eight hours a day, week after week, in an empty office. We all got very tired after a couple of months and it was difficult to do any sort of progress on the certificate, but that’s ok, it’s only the first year, surely we will have more stuff to do by the second year.

I am now entering the third year and still nothing has changed. For two years I’ve been doing nothing but staring at a wall of text almost the entire day, get exhausted and depressed because of that, go on YouTube to distract myself and then feel guilty because of that. Then I get home at 5.30pm still have to make food, do chores, have barely any time left to spend with my hobbies and the day is already over. Day after day the exact same thing. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. It is really wearing down on me. I actively dread going to work now and can barely stand staying in the office during break. When I get home I also usually just sit around or game because I don’t have the motivation to do anything else. The work environment has also become a lot worse. New rules that affect us get added or altered seemingly at random. Employees talking behind our backs and one of our bosses basically being a textbook Karen and always being very toxic towards us. We also always get grouped together when someone does something wrong. One person messed up, now everyone is getting punished. Talking up just makes it seem like it’s making us even more unpopular and whenever we do actually get work, it’s also always the same monotonous thing. One of the other apprentices, that has kept me sane for a long time now, also left recently. Apart from the earlier mentioned friend, who is also always away, I’m not close to anyone. I’ve always struggled with social interactions which was fine at first but is seemingly becoming more and more important to the company which isn’t helping my image. My entire life just feels so empty and hollow.

I plan on finishing the last year and hope for things to improve but I’m not very optimistic, i feel like I’ve already given up even if I don’t want to. I don’t know if I’m the problem and need to lower my standards, if I should look for a different company or a different profession altogether. I don’t know if. I can really allow myself to look for new profession again tho because I’ve always been told that if you do it too often no one is gonna hire you anymore. I would like to find a new job with a lot more variation, but I don’t know where to look.

Two years of doing something I hate for 90% of the day everyday has just really worn me down and I don’t know if I can keep doing this much longer so any kind of help or advice would be very appreciated.

Edit: Spelling